In grade 5 during biology my teacher asked me "what is in cells?" I answered my Uncle Eric and Dad and she made me go home.

just ran into my high school biology teacher. she said "i figured you'd have cured cancer by now." then i washed bird shit off her tahoe

Had a lot of chemistry with my high-school science teacher.

[sits son down after he didn't win science fair] son, tomorrow some will call me "hero" others will call me "guy who fought a teacher"