Before Isaac Newton discovered gravity everyone had to glue themselves down.

Isaac Newton was the pride of the family until his great great grandson Fig was born.

What's the difference between Isaac Newton and the baby I just stabbed to death? Isaac Newton died a virgin. Repost.

Isaac Newton hears his parents screaming at each other one afternoon Mrs. Newton: ""I've had enough of this. I want a divorce!"" Mr. Newton: ""But why?"" Mrs. Newton: ""Do you think I don't know about the other women? How stupid are you? I can see the tramp's lipstick on your cheek."" Mr. Newton touches his cheek, a perplexed look on his face. Isaac, saddened by their fighting, runs out the door. He's soon sitting in an orchard, taking shelter beneath an apple tree. He thinks he's finally found …