Iraq Jokes

Why isn't there a Wal-Mart in Iraq? ....because there is a target in every corner.

I escaped Iraq. Wanna know how? Iran.

I was in Iraq recently . . . and I was hanging out with some friends I made there. We were drinking beers, when I remembered I had some weed. ""Hey you guys have a pipe? Let's smoke a bowl."" They looked down and shook their heads. ""Sorry, my friend, there is no piece in the middle east.""

Soldier reintegrating into civilian life A military veteran is assimilating back to civilian life and begins applying for jobs. He puts in an application with the state hoping for a 9-5 office job with decent benefits. They call him in for an interview. The interviewer is looking over his application and asks him about his military service. ""Yessir,"" says the vet, ""I was stationed in Iraq and then Afghanistan before being honorably discharged."" ""Thank you for your service."" says the interv…

The story of Strongman Dria In Iraq there was a man named Dria who lived in a small village. Dria was special, because he was as strong as 10 men combined. However, as a way to level the playing field, Dria wasn't very smart. He's like a little kid who doesn't realize his own power. One day Dria's grandmother becomes very ill, and there's nothing in the world Dria loves more than his gram-gram, so he vows to save his grandma no matter the cost. But because he doesn't realize how special he is, h…

Finders, Keepers I saw this cool mine selling shop in Iraq.

I asked a refugee: ""How did you get out of Iraq?"" He answered: ""Iran""

Did I ever tell you about how I escaped from Iraq? Iran

A soldier ran up to a nun, Out of breath he asked, ""Please, may I hide under your skirt. I'll explain later."" The nun agreed. A moment later two Military Police officer ran up and asked, ""Sister, have you seen a soldier?"" The nun replied, ""He went that way."" After the Military Police officers ran off, the soldier crawled out from under her skirt and said, 'I can't thank you enough Sister. You see, I don't want to go to war to Iraq . The nun said, ""I understand completely."" The soldier ad…

What was the main difference between the war in Vietnam and the war in Iraq? George Bush had a plan to get out of Vietnam.

The weather in England is like the Muslims in Iraq. It's either Sunni, or Shiite.

A man is found in the middle of Iraq and the locals asked him where did he come from and how did he get there He said ""Iran""

Veteran applies for a government job A military veteran is assimilating back to civilian life and begins applying for jobs. He puts in an application with the state hoping for a 9-5 office job with decent benefits. They call him in for an interview. The interviewer is looking over his application and asks him about his military service. ""Yessir,"" says the vet, ""I was stationed in Iraq and then Afghanistan before being honorably discharged."" ""Thank you for your service."" says the interviewe…

Bush Jr, and his take on words The only reason Bush Jr attacked Iraq,,, is because Bush Sr. asked for ""a tie rack"" for Christmas!

So here is my 1st ever joke on reddit. Sorry not sorry how did i escape from Iraq? Iran!! Syrisly Yeman! The Struggle Isreal.

The Islamic State is hosting a music festival in Iraq. The first annual Allahpalooza is sure to go off with a bang.

A horrible Charlie Brown joke Charlie Brown and the rest of the Peanuts are doing a project for school that requires them to select the name of a country out of a hat. Lucy goes first and gets the United States. Linus goes up and picks Japan. Finally, after everybody else has selected their country, Charlie Brown is the only one left. He nervously steps up to the hat, picks a name out of it, and groans. Upon sitting back at his seat, Linus asks him what's wrong. Charlie Brown sighs and simply sa…

Where does Saddam Hussein keep his plates? In Iraq.

Why do Arabs only buy Chevy Trucks? Because they're like Iraq.

Being gay is a choice... like being black, poor, or an amputee. No one really made you go to Iraq

A one-armed man goes to the barber, he wants a shave; the barber takes out the blade, lather ups the chin, starts to shave, and nicks the customer. He apologies, starts on the other side, nicks the other cheek to; he mumbles an apology again, continues to the neck, nicks the guy again. Tired of apologizing, he tries to make small talk: ""I feel that I've met you before, is this your first visit here ?"" ""Oh, yes, it is, the arm was lost in Iraq"".

In Iran, people are afraid of spiders... But in Iraq, no phobia

In Iraq are Kraft Foods discount coupons known as Kraft Dinar?

President Bush is sitting in a Cabinet meeting... One of his intelligence officers enters and tells him, ""Three Brazilian soldiers were killed today in Iraq."" The President exclaims, ""Oh my God!"" and buries his head in his hands. The entire Cabinet is shocked. The President receives reports like this on a daily basis, and doesn't flinch. Just then, Bush looks up and says, ""How many is a Brazilian?!""

Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 2 is getting released for the second time in Iraq. They're renaming the game to The Sims 5.