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Hillary Clintons Jokes

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A man dies in a car accident, and goes to Heaven When he walks past the Pearly Gates, he is greeted by St. Peter, and they walk into a house together. The man sees a wall with a bunch of clocks on it. He asks, ""What are all those clocks doing there?"" Peter replies, ""Those are *Lie Clocks*. Every time someone lies, the clock ticks once."" The man looks at his clock, and it reads about 1:15. After looking at all the clocks, he says, ""Uh, sir? Just asking, but where is Hillary Clinton's clock?"

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Monica Lewinsky's statement on Hillary's run for President Monica Lewinsky released the following statment on Hillary Clinton's run for President.. ""I will not vote for Hillary Clinton . The last Clinton presidency left a bad taste in my mouth. As we get closer to the 2016 election year, citizens must remember that they cannot even trust Hillary Clinton to create American jobs. The last time she had a meaning full job , she outsourced it to me and I simply blew it"".

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""Hillary Clinton's 506-page memoirs has come out. So much of her personality shines through, that in the end, you, too, will want to sleep with an intern."" - Craig Kilborn ""In Hillary Clinton's new book 'Living History,' Hillary details what it was like meeting Bill Clinton, falling in love with him, getting married, and living a passionate, wonderful life as husband and wife. Then on page two, the trouble starts."" - Jay Leno ""In the book she says when Bill told her he was having an affair,

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Hillary Clinton and her driver were cruising home along a country road one evening when an ancient cow loomed in front of the car. The driver tried to avoid it , but couldn't. The aged cow was struck and killed. Hillary told her driver to go up to the farmhouse and explain to the owners what had happened and pay them for the cow. She stayed in the car making phone calls. About an hour later the driver staggered back to the car with his clothes in disarray. He was holding a half-empty bottle o

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Hillary Clinton and her chauffeur are driving on a country road. Suddenly, a pig runs in front of the car. The chauffeur has no time to react, and runs over it, giving it instant death. The chauffeur stops the car, gets out and looks around. He spots a small farm-house in the distance. Hillary says to her chauffeur, "You should at least tell them that you've killed the pig" The chauffeur does as he's told. A couple of hours later, the chauffeur stumbles out of the farmhouse, covered in lip

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Hillary Clinton and her driver were cruising along a country road one night when all of a sudden they hit a pig, killing it instantly. Hillary told her driver to go up to the farmhouse and explain to the owners what had happened. About one hour later Hillary sees her driver staggering back to the car with a bottle of wine in one hand, a cigar in the other and his clothes all ripped and torn. ”What happened to you?” asked Hillary. ”Well, the Farmer gave me the wine, his wife gave me the

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A man dies and goes to heaven In heaven, he sees a wall of very large clocks. He asks the Angel "What are all these clocks for?" Angel answers "These are lie clocks, every person has one lie clock. Whenever you lie on earth, the clock ticks once." The man points towards a clock and asks, "Who's clock does this belong to?" Angel answers 'This clock belongs to Mother Teresa. It has never moved, so she has never told a lie." then the man asks "Where is Hillary Clintons clock?" The Angel replies "T

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