Google Jokes

I'm not saying I'm antisocial, but even when someone asks me how I'm doing I just tell them to Google it.

I'm disappointed to see that a lot of women are using "period tracker apps" now, instead of the shared Google spreadsheet I set up.

I put the ogle in Google image search.

I am being so rude. Apologies. Google, is there anything you want to ask me?

I heard Google is turning 15 years old today. Now it's really going to think it knows everything.

google logo keeps changing its appearance because it killed a man in Tampa in 1999 and has to stay ahead of the law

Google Instant is like a 'funny' friend who ruins your anecdotes. "So I walked in and I saw..." "Geoff capes! An egg! Ghandi!"LET ME FINISH.

I'm so dependent on the google "did you mean ____?" that i barely bother to spell anything even remotely correctly

Boss approaches, I frantically close my google image search of cats hugging, only to show a new window of cats in formal wear. I get fired.

Just tried to switch to Bing. Google was like, "You can, but it'd be a real shame if some of your old searches got out."

*Frantically typing on google* 'How to do CPR' *Opens video, 30 second ad pops up* [To dying person] Ok just hold on a sec

I'm sure I'm not the only person to ever use Google Maps Satellite feature to see whose car is in my driveway in the middle of the day.

Your Google search history is the real you.

I would have got the Google Glass but I don't have $1500 or any desire to strap the internet to my face.

Apparently "You should Google it" isn't the best response when she asks how much do you love me? Sigh, women are so demanding..

[bill gates house] Bill: What's on at the cinema? Wife: Let me google it and- *terrified look at bill* Wife: Let me bing it and see.

Wife: Don't you think the yard needs to be mowed? (from my recliner I check google maps satellite view of our house) Me: It looks fine to me

Sorry, page 2 of Google searches.

If you're wondering about who the oldest James Bond was, don't google 'old man bond age'

[Google Search History] 1. Do raccoons like to cuddle? 2. What does rabies smell like? 3. I can't feel my face.

How soon is it going to be before school spelling tests only requires getting the first three letters correct until google does the rest.

Google Search: -is my toaster broken -can fire ants make toast -bathtub fire, small -house fire, how to stop -is house fire toast a thing?

Who needs a security system when you can just Google Earth your house and keep hitting refresh.

What's the recommended age to teach your child that Google has every answer to their homework?

Can't wait for the google doodle guy to get dumped and make things super personal.