First Husband Jokes

Newlywed Woman In Her 90s Is Interviewed There was a lady in her 90s who became a sort of local celebrity because she had recently gotten married. The local news station decided to interview her. The interviewer asked questions like how it was to be a newlywed in her 90s. "This isn't my first husband, so it's not much different than the others," she replied with a smile. "Oh? How many husbands have you had?" the interviewer inquired. "This one will be my fourth," she replied. "I was married …

Why did you have to die? A man placed some flowers on the grave of his dearly departed mother and started back toward his car when his attention was diverted to another man kneeling at a grave. The man seemed to be praying with profound intensity and kept repeating, "Why did you have to die? Why did you have to die?" The first man approached him and said, "Sir, I don't wish to interfere with your private grief, but this demonstration of pain is more than I've ever seen before. For whom do you m…

Two married men agree; no more ladies' nights. On their way home from a great ladies night out, two married women have the sudden urge to tinkle. There are no restaurants or shops nearby, so the women run into a nearby cemetery and pee behind some headstones. One of the women uses her panties to wipe while the other grabs a nearby flower wreath. The next morning, the first husband says to the second husband, "I don't know about you but no more ladies' nights! My wife came home last night witho…

A man placed flowers on the grave of his dearly departed mother and started back toward his car when his attention was diverted to another man kneeling at a grave. The man seemed to be praying with profound intensity and kept repeating, "Why did you have to die? Why did you have to die?" The first man approached him and said, "Sir, I don't wish to interfere with your private grief, but this demonstration of pain is more than I've ever seen before. For whom do you mourn so deeply? A child?…

Maria is a devout Catholic: She gets married and has 17 children. Soon after the last child is born her husband dies. A few weeks later she remarries and over the following years has another 22 children with her second husband. After the last child is born her second husband also dies. Within a month Maria is engaged to be married a third time. Unfortunately she becomes very ill and dies. At her wake, the priest looks tenderly at Maria as she lies in her coffin, looks up to the heavens and …

Marriage joke A woman announces to her friend that she is getting married for the fourth time. "How wonderful! But I hope you don't mind me asking what happened to your first husband?" "He ate poisonous mushrooms and died." "Oh, how tragic! What about your second husband?" "He ate poisonous mushrooms too and died." "Oh, how terrible! I'm almost afraid to ask you about your third husband." "He died of a broken neck." "A broken neck?" "He wouldn't eat the mushrooms."

Why did you die? So a man named John is in the cemetery, just like every Sunday, visiting his wife. But this day was different than the others. Today a man was on his hands and knees weeping and shouting, "Why did you die? Why did you die?" Well John feels sorry for the guy so he heads over and asks the man what's wrong. The weeping man doesn't acknowledge him and just keeps on going, "Why did you die? Why did you die?" Well John is still very concerned and so he says to the man, "At least y…

Maria, a devout Catholic, got married and had 15 children. Maria, a devout Catholic, got married and had 15 children. After her first husband died, she remarried and had 15 more children. A few weeks after her second husband died, Maria also passed away. At Maria's funeral, the priest looked skyward and said, "At last, they're finally together." Her sister sitting in the front row said, "Excuse me, Father, but do you mean she and her first husband, or she and her second husband?" The priest rep…

A woman tells her friend she is getting married for the fourth time. "How wonderful! I hope you don't mind me asking, what happened to your first husband?" "He ate poisonous mushrooms and died." "Oh, how tragic! What about your second husband?" "He also ate poisonous mushrooms and died." "Oh, how terrible! I'm almost afraid to ask you about your third husband." "He died of a broken neck." "A broken neck?" "He wouldn't eat the mushrooms."

A woman gets married for the fourth time. On their honeymoon night, she says to her husband, "I just want you to know that I'm a virgin. I thought you should be aware of that." "But you've been married three times before!" "Well, my first husband was a lovely man, but he was injured, and just couldn't perform. We were together for a while, but I wanted a change. My second husband, well, it turned out that he just wasn't really attracted to women that way. I don't think we ever should have got…

A woman announces to her friend that she is getting married for the fourth time "How wonderful! I hope you don't mind me asking, but what happened to your first husband?" "He ate poisonous mushrooms and died." "Oh, how tragic! What about your second husband?" "He ate poisonous mushrooms too, and died." "Oh, how terrible! I'm almost afraid to ask you about your third husband." "He died of a broken neck." "A broken neck?" "He wouldn't eat the mushrooms."

A man is visiting his mother's grave at the cemetery. He notices another man on his knees weeping wildly and exclaiming, "Oh why did you have to die? Oh WHY did you have to die??" First man says to him, "I'm so sorry for your grief. You two must have been close". Second man wipes away tears and replies, "Oh, I never knew him". Puzzled, the first guy asks, "If you never knew him then why are you so upset? Who was he"?. Second guy stood up and said, "He was my wife's first husband".

Marriage joke A woman announces to her friend that she is getting married for the fourth time. ""How wonderful! But I hope you don't mind me asking what happened to your first husband?"" ""He ate poisonous mushrooms and died."" ""Oh

Would you pass the tea? Three older couples were having afternoon tea. The first husband turns to his wife and says, "Can you pass the honey, Honey?" Not to be outdone, the second husband turns to his wife and says, "Can you pass the sugar, Sugar?" Feeling rather amorous, the third wife turns to her husband and asks, "George, why don't we call each other cute names?" George turns to her and says, "Can you pass the tea, bag?"

These three married couples died and when they got to the pearly gates. St.Peter told the first husband, "I can't let you in. You let alcohol run your life. You even married a girl named Sherry." Dejected, he turned and walked away. The next married couple stepped up, and St.Peter told the husband, "Can't let you in sir. While you were on earth, you allowed money to run your life. You even married a girl named Penny." The guy hung his head, turned and walked away. The husband of the third couple…

A man placed some flowers on the grave of his departed mother and started back for his car, parked on the cemetery road. His attention was diverted to a man kneeling at a grave. The man seemed to be praying with profound intensity, and kept repeating, "Why did you die? Why did you die?" The first man approached him and said, "Sir, I don't want to interfere with your private grief, but this demonstration of hurt and pain is more than I've ever seen before. For whom do you mourn so deeply? Your Ch…