Third Husband Jokes

A man moved into a retirement home... An elderly man decided it was time to move on. He packed his stuff and moved into a retirement home. On his first day there, as he was unpacking his stuff into his room, he could help but notice that the woman in the room across the hall was staring at him. He thought it was odd but decided not to let it bother him. Later that night, he went to the cafeteria to get dinner. He sat down at his table and, lo and behold, the woman from the hallway was sitting at…

A woman announces to her friend that she is getting married for the fourth time. Her friend is overjoyed and says: ""How wonderful! But I hope you don't mind me asking what happened to your first husband?"" ""He ate poisonous mushrooms and died."" ""Oh, how tragic! What about your second husband?"" ""He ate poisonous mushrooms too and died."" ""Oh, how terrible! I'm almost afraid to ask you about your third husband."" ""He died of a broken neck."" ""A broken neck?"" ""He wouldn't eat the mushroo…

Am glad they are together.... A woman gets married to a guy and has 3 kids and her husband dies. She then marries a second guy and has 5 kids and the second husband also dies. She then marries a third guy and has 7 kids and her third husband also dies. After a few months, she dies and at her funeral the priest says... ""Finally, they are together!"". Her friend standing next to the priest asks, ""you mean she and her first husband, she and her second husband or she and her third husband?"" The p…

A young woman married and had 13 children. Her husband died. She soon married again and had 7 more children. Again, her husband died. But she remarried and this time had 5 more children. Alas, she finally croaked. Standing before her coffin, the preacher prayed to the Lord above, thanking him for this loving woman who fulfilled his commandment to ""Go forth and multiply."" In his final eulogy, he noted, ""Thank you, Lord, they're finally together."" Leaning over to his neighbor, one mourner aske…

Working on the fourth husband. A woman tells her friend she is getting married for the fourth time. ""How wonderful! I hope you don't mind me asking, what happened to your first husband?"" ""He ate poisonous mushrooms and died."" ""Oh, how tragic! What about your second husband?"" ""He also ate poisonous mushrooms and died."" ""Oh, how terrible! I'm almost afraid to ask you about your third husband."" ""He died of a broken neck."" ""A broken neck?"" ""He wouldn't eat the mushrooms.""

So on their honeymoon, the couple are about to make love when the bride says ""Please be gentle, I'm a virgin"". Her newly wed husband looks stunned and says, ""But, darling- before me, you've had three husbands... how could you have gone all this time without-"" ""Well"" sighed the woman, ""my first husband was a gynaecologist, and he only wanted to look at it. My second was a psychologist, but he only wanted to TALK about it, and finally, my third husband was a professional stamp collector and…

A 90 year old woman is getting married for the fourth time. A news crew is there to document the story. The reporter asks the woman about her odd marital past. ""Let me get this right,"" he says. ""Your first husband was a banker. Your second husband was a clown. Your third husband was a doctor, and you're about to marry a mortician. Why the menagerie of different men?"" She smirked and said ""It was one for the money, two for the show, three to get ready and four to go.""

Together Again Agnes married and had 13 children. When her husband died, she married again and had 7 more children. Again, her husband died. So Agnes remarried and this time had 5 more children. Alas, she finally died. Standing before her coffin, the preacher prayed for her. He thanked the Lord for this very loving woman and said, “Lord, they’re finally together.” One mourner leaned over and quietly asked her friend, “Do you think he means her first, second or third husband?” The friend repli…

A couple of newlyweds on were on their honeymoon and moments before the passionate love making commenced, the wife says to the husband, "Please, be gentle, I'm still a virgin." The husband was shocked and replied, "How's this possible? You've been married *three* times before!" The wife responds, "Well, my first husband was a gynecologist and all he wanted to do was look at it. My second husband was a psychiatrist and all he wanted to do was talk about it. Finally, my third husband was a stamp…

Fourth husband A wife was lying in her bed with her fourth husband, they were just married and very much in love. Says the wife, "please be gentle, I am still a virgin." So the husband asks, "how can you be a virgin if you've been married three times?". Says the wife: My first husband was a psychiatrist: when it came to my cooch, all he wanted to do was talk about it. My second husband was a gynaecologist: when it came to my cooch, all he wanted to do was look at it. My third husband was a …

A young woman married and had 13 children A young woman married and had 13 children. Her husband died. She soon married again and had 7 more children. Again, her husband died. But she remarried and this time had 5 more children. Alas, she finally croaked. Standing before her coffin, the preacher prayed to the Lord above, thanking him for this loving woman who fulfilled his commandment to “Go forth and multiply.” In his final eulogy, he noted, “Thank you, Lord, they’re finally together.” Lean…

Marriage joke A woman announces to her friend that she is getting married for the fourth time. "How wonderful! But I hope you don't mind me asking what happened to your first husband?" "He ate poisonous mushrooms and died." "Oh, how tragic! What about your second husband?" "He ate poisonous mushrooms too and died." "Oh, how terrible! I'm almost afraid to ask you about your third husband." "He died of a broken neck." "A broken neck?" "He wouldn't eat the mushrooms."

A woman tells her friend she is getting married for the fourth time. "How wonderful! I hope you don't mind me asking, what happened to your first husband?" "He ate poisonous mushrooms and died." "Oh, how tragic! What about your second husband?" "He also ate poisonous mushrooms and died." "Oh, how terrible! I'm almost afraid to ask you about your third husband." "He died of a broken neck." "A broken neck?" "He wouldn't eat the mushrooms."

A woman gets married for the fourth time. On their honeymoon night, she says to her husband, "I just want you to know that I'm a virgin. I thought you should be aware of that." "But you've been married three times before!" "Well, my first husband was a lovely man, but he was injured, and just couldn't perform. We were together for a while, but I wanted a change. My second husband, well, it turned out that he just wasn't really attracted to women that way. I don't think we ever should have got…

She married and had 13 children. Her husband died... She married again and had 7 more children. Again, her husband died. But, she remarried and this time had 5 more children. She finally died after having 25 children. Standing before her coffin, the preacher prayed for her. He thanked the Lord for this very loving woman and said,' Lord, they're finally together.' One mourner leaned over and quietly asked her friend,' Do you think he means her first, second, or third husband? ' The friend…

A woman announces to her friend that she is getting married for the fourth time "How wonderful! I hope you don't mind me asking, but what happened to your first husband?" "He ate poisonous mushrooms and died." "Oh, how tragic! What about your second husband?" "He ate poisonous mushrooms too, and died." "Oh, how terrible! I'm almost afraid to ask you about your third husband." "He died of a broken neck." "A broken neck?" "He wouldn't eat the mushrooms."

A young woman was married and had twelve children before her husband died. However, she was soon married again and had seven more children. Sadly, her second husband died. She remarried and this time had five more children. Alas, worn out by constant childbearing, she died. At her funeral the preacher prayed to God for this woman who fulfilled his commandment to “Go forth and multiply”. In his final eulogy, he noted, “Thank you Lord, they’re finally together.” One of the mourners thought abo…