First Farmer Jokes

Fattest Pig Contest One day 3 farmers are coming back from town when they see a sign for the County Fair coming next month, right below the main advert is another for a Fattest Pig Contest. The farmers have pigs on their farm so they think they should enter. When they get back to the farm the first farmer goes ""Let's get the fattest pig we have"" the second says ""And lets feed him a lot every day till the competition"" the third one goes ""And let's plug him up back there with a cork to keep h…

Two farmers were having a conversation The first farmer said, ""My cow fell down a hole so I had to shoot it,"" and the second farmer nods his head, ""Did you shoot it in the hole?"" He asked. The first farmer scrunched his nose in disgust. ""Of course not! I shot it in the head!""

The two farmers Once upon a time, two farmers went home from the market. One of them bought a beautiful cow the other farmer wanted. Walking along the street, they saw a roadkill, a frog, lying there. ""If you eat this frog, I'll give you my new cow"", said the first farmer. Much to his surprise he really ate the roadkill, so he handed his cow over. After some time they saw another frog on the road. ""If you eat this frog, I'll give you back your beautiful cow"", said the newly rich farmer. So h…

The Longest Journey to the Worst Pun Ever Written Two farmers were talking over the fence about the trouble they had with their horses. The first one says, ""I've got this prize horse but I can't take him to any shows. For some reason sparrows insist on building nests in his mane. I've tried everything but they keep doing it and he looks terrible all the time."" The second says,""That's an easy fix: go get a ten pound bag of brewer's yeast. Sprinkle it all over him and they'll never come back ag…

Three farmers (longish) Three farmers are down on their luck, and are on the verge of utter destitution. They have only one pig left, a skinny thing that - no matter what kind or quality or quantity of food it eats - shits it all out and gains no weight. The first farmer says ""We have to find a way to fatten up this pig."" Second farmer says ""But nothing we've tried has worked so far."" The third farmer says ""I have an idea. We take the rest of our money, buy a monkey, and train him to put a …

Some crows had been pestering a farmer... despite already having a scarecrows in his fields. While he drove past his plots, he looked the other way and noticed his neighbor's plots had identical scarecrows, but only a couple crows, so he went to ask for his help. ""Hey neighbor, we have the same scarecrows but you ain't got nearly as many crows. How come?"" ""Well, they look the same but let me show you."" So the two men walk out towards one of the scarecrows but as they draw near it lets out a …