Eu Jokes

Great Britain has left the EU Now they have a GB of free space

Uk newspaper headlines yesterday should have read as ""EU must be joking?!"" EU referendum... EU sounds like 'you'. Thanks, I'll get my coat. edit: changed al (Scots slang) to I'll... my bad Reddit, my bad!

It's easier to take Wales out of the EU... ...than it is to take a Welshman out of the ewe.

Since yesterday, more than 2 million Brits have called for a new EU referendum... That's what you get when Donald Trump says you made the right choice.

Good thing is that the Irish won't be leaving EU. Although, U2 would probably still sound as good With or Without EU.

What's the best way to lose some pounds? Leave the EU.

Rick Astley voted in the referendum. He's never gunna give EU up

A recent study shows that 51.9% of the UK are under educated. It was called the EU referendum.

What do star wars and the U.K. have in common? They both abandoned the EU

If Great Britian leaves the EU then it will be like its own Hong Kong Owned by the British, surprisingly prosperous for its size, and desperately longing to be white.

How do you call Niggeria leaving EU? blackout

My girlfriend recently left me due to money issues. We have been together for a while now. We've always had issues when it came to money. I guess today it was the last straw for her. She sat me down at the table, looked into my eyes and said, ""It's not me, it's EU""

Britain just left the EU! But they'll be alright... After all, you always lose a few pounds after a break up.

English within the EU after todays Vote Due to todays vote, The European Commission has announced an agreement whereby English will still remain the official language of the EU, rather than German. Her Majesty's Government conceded that English spelling had room for improvement and has therefore accepted a five-year phasing in of ""Euro-English"". In the first year, ""s"" will replace the soft ""c"". Sertainly, this will make sivil servants jump for joy. The hard ""c"" will be dropped in favour …

What's better than having a 'Brexit' vote about Britain leaving the EU? Not being British.

EU wants to congratulate US for their free healthcare.. .. because you did vote for Bernie didn't you?

Should English be the only official language of the EU? No.

In an effort to fit in with the rest of the EU the UK is going to switch to driving on the right We're going to trial it with buses and trucks for a year first then if that's a success we'll switch over entirely.

Osama is back Osama is somehow alive and decides to laugh a bit at the rest of the world. So he writes and sends a note to president Obama. On the other side of the world Obama gets called out of his conference. His assistant says in a quiet voice: ""Mr. president, sir, we have bad news... We have received a message from Osama Binladen! He is still alive!"" - ""What does it say?"" - ""370H55V 0773H"" Obama is clueless. So he sends this message to his secret service... They are clueless as well..…

The EU has said that more needs to be done to help the Syrian refugees, especially the children. May I recommend swimming lessons?

The European Commission has announced an agreement whereby English will be the official language of the EU, rather than German, which was the other contender. Her Majesty's Government conceded that English spelling had room for improvement and has therefore accepted a five-year phasing in of ""Euro-English"". In the first year, ""s"" will replace the soft ""c"". Sertainly, this will make sivil servants jump for joy. The hard ""c"" will be dropped in favour of the ""k"", Which should klear up som…

Explanation of the crisis in Italy & Greece. A small town in Italy twinned with a similar town in Greece. The Mayor of the Greek town visited the Italian town. When he saw the palatial mansion belonging to the Italian mayor he wondered how he could afford such a house. The Italian said; ""You see that bridge over there? The EU gave us a grant to build a two-lane bridge, but by building a single lane bridge with traffic lights at either end this house could be built"". Soon after, the Italian…

The EU have finally come up with a new currency It's Greece proof.

NEWSFLASH - Greece/Euro Announcement The EU has just announced that with immediate effect all Euro notes will be printed on Greece-proof paper

There's a lot of talk surrounding the EU referendum at the moment. We've already heard from the boss' of JCB and Dyson; I'm just waiting to hear from Durex and their opinions on us pulling out.