Catholic School Jokes

A little Jewish boy in Catholic school There was once a little Jewish boy who for the life of him was terrible at math. His parents had tried everything and nothing seemed to be working, so as their last resort they decided to send him to the local Catholic school because it had the best math program in the area. The first day, and every day after, the little boy came home and went straight upstairs and did all his homework. When they finally received his report card he had straight A's. They we…

There is this Jewish boy who was born into a nice family... There is this Jewish boy who was born into a nice family. He was a very smart boy, but he never did well in school because he lacked motivation. His parents tried everything: meeting with his teachers, one on one tutoring, etc.; however, nothing seemed to help. Eventually, they decided to send him to a private school, thinking a different environment would him good. Unfortunately, there are not many Jewish private schools, so they had t…

Little Tommy was doing very badly in math. His parents had tried everything; tutors, flash cards, special learning centers, in short, everything they could think of. Finally in a last ditch effort, they took Tommy down and enrolled him in the local Catholic School. After the first day, little Tommy comes home with a very serious look on his face. He doesn't kiss his mother hello. Instead, he goes straight to his room and starts studying. Books & papers are spread out all over the room and little…

Little Zachary was doing poorly in math. His parents, after exhausting all other incentives, finally decided to enroll him in the local Catholic School. After the first day, Little Zachary came home with a very serious look on his face. He went straight to his room and started studying. This continued for some time. His mother was baffled as to why he had become so dedicated. Finally, Little Zachary brought home his report card. He quietly laid it on the table and went to his room to study. With…

A ten-year-old boy was failing math. His parents tried everything from tutors to hypnosis, but to no avail. Finally, at the insistence of a family friend, they decided to enroll their son in a private Catholic school. After the first day, the boy's parents were surprised when he walked in after school with a stern, focused and very determined expression on his face, and went right past them straight to his room, where he quietly closed the door. For nearly two hours he toiled away in his room - …

A mom and dad were worried about their son not wanting to learn math at the school he was in so they decided to send him to a Catholic school. After the first day of school their son comes racing into the house goes straight into his room and slams the door shut. Mom and dad are a little worried about this and go to his room to see if he is okay. They find him sitting at his desk doing his homework. The boy keeps doing that for the rest of the year. At the end of the year the son brings home his…

Catholic School So there's a bad jewish kid and he swears all the time. He gets expelled from school. His behavior combined with the town he lives in being so small where everyone knows everyone's business, causes his family to become pariahs. Desperate for a solution, the parents ask the local Rabbi for help who suggests sending the boy to a *yeshiva* - a Jewish private school. The parents try this, but sadly, this seemed to make him worse, now he swears in both English and Hebrew. The ne…

Catholic School Little Timmy's parents were at a conference with his teachers. Most of his classes were going very well except he seemed to be struggling in math, so they tried and tried to get him the help he needed but nothing seemed to catch on. Eventually his parents decided to put him in a different school all together. A catholic school. A few months went by and his parents decided to have another conference with his teachers to see how he was doing. And to their surprise he was e…

They are serious! A boy is getting all Ds and Fs in math so his parents send him to Catholic school. On his first report card, his parents are shocked to see their son getting straight As. When his parents ask him why, he says, “Well, when I went into the chapel and saw that guy nailed to a plus sign, I knew they were serious.”

A Jewish couple are having trouble teaching their son math. They try several schools and tutors, and his math scores remain abysmal. Eventually, there's only one school left in town. It's a Catholic school, and the Jewish parents are uneasy about sending their son. But, after looking at the school's amazing academic records, they decide it would be selfish to hinder their child's education because of their religion. So they explain to their son that the school he's going to has a different beli…

Once there was a girl who went to a Catholic school. While there, she always fell asleep. At one point, the teacher called on her and asked "Who is the son of God?" The boy behind her tried to wake her up so he did so by poking her butt with his pencil. The girl jumped and yelled "JESUS CHRIST!" The teacher looked at her surprised and said "Correct!" Later on the teacher called on her again. This time she asked "Who is our lord in Heaven?" The boy woke her up again by poking her in the bu…

Little Johnny moves to a Catholic School. Little Johnny, is a student who is oblivious to religion and is really bad at math. Little Johnny's parents wanted him to change and go to a Catholic School. After the first day, when Little Johnny arrived home, he went to his room directly. This continued until the first grading, when Little Johnny came home with his report card, he went directly to his room. His mother, anxious to open the report card, expecting low grades, decided to open it anyway,…

Little Tommy was doing very badly in math. Little Tommy was doing very badly in math. His parents had tried everything; tutors, flash cards, special learning centers, in short, everything they could think of. Finally in a last ditch effort, they took Tommy down & enrolled him in the local Catholic School. After the firstday, little Tommy comes home with a very serious look on his face. He doesn't kiss his mother hello. Instead, he goes straight to his room & starts studying. Books & papers are…

Little Timmy was struggling very hard with his math classes Little Timmy was struggling very hard with his math classes. His parents did everything and anything to help their son...private tutors, teacher meetings, and even asking the local Asian kid. Nothing worked. Finally, in a last ditch effort they enrolled him into a small Catholic school to see if the nun's strict curriculum would do the trick. At the end of the first day of school the boy walked in with a stern expression on h…

In a Catholic school cafeteria, a nun places a note in front of a pile of apples, "Only take one. God is watching." Further down the line is a pile of cookies. A little boy makes his own note, "Take all you want. God is watching the apples."

How many Jews are at a Catholic school? **Just one.**

A little Johnny joke Little Johnny was a lazy student and was failing Math badly. His parents had enough of this, so they pulled him out of regular school and enrolled him in the local Catholic school. After the first day, he came home and not a word, and headed up to his bedroom to do his Math homework. He was up there four hours until it was all done. The same thing happened the next day, and so on. Several days later, his parents came up to his room and asked, "Johnny, what brought this on? …

After a tragic fire in a Catholic school three young ladies arrived in Heaven

Three women are going back to visit the Catholic school that they grew up in and they find the nun who taught them as children.

Little Johnny moves to a Catholic School. Little Johnny

Boy pokes girl with a pencil A boy sits behind a girl he likes in Catholic school and he shows it by poking her in the back with a pencil. One day during class the teacher asks:

Once there was a girl who went to a Catholic school. While there

A 13 year old boy has difficulty with mathematics, failing in public school. His parents were not religious but after a friend's suggestion they felt a private Catholic school may be more effective. His grades began to rise dramatically after this switch. Asked what has helped him so much, he responded "When I saw the guy nailed to the plus sign I knew they meant business!"