Cadillac Jokes

What's the difference between a golf ball and a Cadillac? Tiger Woods can drive a golf ball 100 yards without hitting a tree.

A very rich snail slimed into a Cadillac dealership... ...and said

What's big, black and loaded with aids? A new Cadillac Escalade with cruise control, lane alert, navigation, downhill descent control and parking assist.

Why do you make more money?,"A heart surgeon takes his Cadillac to his mechanic to get his engine fixed. When he returns a few days after to pick up the car, the mechanic calls him over to show him something. He says, ""Okay Doc, I've changed the seals out and fixed everything up but I have one question. The engine is to the car as the heart is to the body. Why is it that you make some much more money than me?"" The doctor examines the engine carefully and says ""try fixing it while the engine …

What does Pontiac stand for?,"Poor, Old, Niagga, Thinks, It's, A Cadillac. Ba dum tssss

What's sad about three black guys driving over a cliff in a Cadillac? They were my friends :(

What's the worst part about seeing 4 black people go off a cliff in a Cadillac? Cadillac seats 5.

How do you fit 20 Jews in a Cadillac? One in the driver's seat, one in the passenger, three in the back, and the rest in the ash tray.

Whats wrong with four black people in a Cadillac driving off a cliff? The Cadillac seats five.

What do you call a car made out of Canadian money? A CADillac.

What does PONTIAC stand for? Poor Old Nincompoop Thinks It's A Cadillac

What does Pontiac stand for? Poor, Old, Niagga, Thinks, It's, A, Cadillac. Ba dum tssss

What kind of car does a cat drive? A Cadillac.

Meat Loaf has revealed how he was bullied at school. Apparently one kid took Meat Loaf's dinner money to buy a new Cadillac. A man walked into a record store and asked the assistant: "Have you got anything by The Doors?" "Yes," she said, "a bucket and a fire extinguisher."

A woman phoned her local newspaper to ask if she could put a notice in the obituary column. "Certainly, ma'am," said the operator. "How much do funeral notices cost?" asked the woman. "Five dollars per word." "Good, do you have a paper and pencil handy?" "Yes, ma'am." "Write this then: 'Cohen died.'" "Sorry, ma'am, I forget to tell you: there's a five-word minimum." "Huh!" said the woman testily. "You certainly did forget to tell me that!" She thought for a moment and then said: "Okay. Got your …

Three guys die and end up at the gates of heaven, talking to St. Peter. So, Peter asks the first guy, “How many times did you cheat on your wife?” “None. I had a perfect marriage.” “Great,” says Peter, “You get to cruise around heaven in a Viper. And you, how many times did you cheat on your wife?” “Only twice, I think,” says the second guy. “Okay. You get to cruise around heaven in a Cadillac. And you, how many times did you cheat on your wife?” “12 times. Maybe 13,” says the third guy. “Okay,”…