A woman married to a cheapskate... A woman is on one of those cruises where the ashes of loved ones may be dumped into the sea. She had been married to rich man, but a real cheapskate, who after 30 years of marriage finally died. The lady had her husband cremated, at his wishes, because he felt a plot would cost too much. After the memorial services, she went to the railing and poured his ashes into her hands and started talking to him. ""Henry,"" she said, ""you know that mink cape I wanted all…

A man and his wife were driving through country on his way from New York to California. Looking at his fuel gauge, he decided to stop at the next gasoline station and fill up. About 15 minutes later, he spots a Mobil station and pulls over to the high octane pump. ""What can I do for ya'll?"" asks the attendant. ""Fill 'er up with high test,"" replies the driver. While the attendant is filling up the tank, he's looking the car up and down. ""What kinda car is this?"" he asks. ""I never seen one …

After years of scrimping and saving a husband told his wife the good news: ""Honey we've finally got enough money to buy what we started saving for in 1979."" ""You mean a brand-new Cadillac?"" she asked eagerly. ""No"" said the husband ""a 1979 Cadillac.""

Why do you make more money? A heart surgeon takes his Cadillac to his mechanic to get his engine fixed. When he returns a few days after to pick up the car, the mechanic calls him over to show him something. He says, "Okay Doc, I've changed the seals out and fixed everything up but I have one question. The engine is to the car as the heart is to the body. Why is it that you make some much more money than me?" The doctor examines the engine carefully and says, "try fixing it while the engine is…