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Audi Jokes

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A mathematician leaves a conference only to find that the last train has gone. Being a devout Christian, he falls to his knees and prays: "God, if it lies within your will, please send me a way to get home tonight!". To his astonishment, there is a swirl of ethereal music, and an angel descends from the clouds, and moments later a shiny black Audi appears where it wasn't before. "Hail, thou who has found favour with the Lord!" proclaims the angel. "Here is your way home" - and the angel hands

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Five Englishmen in an Audi Quattro..... Five Englishmen in an Audi Quattro roll up to an Irish border checkpoint. Paddy, the officer, halts them and sternly declares, "It's illegal to cram five people into a Quattro. 'Quattro' means four." The Englishman, incredulous, retorts, "Quattro is just the name of the car! Check the papers: it's designed for five." "You can't pull that one on me," replies Paddy. "Quattro means four. You've got five folks in there; it's against the law." The Englishma

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A man’s wife is missing… Man: Officer, my wife is missing. She went out yesterday and she hasn’t come home. Officer: Okay, what’s her height? Man: Not sure…. Maybe around 5’6? Officer: Okay, weight? Man: I dunno… not slim not big. Officer: Okay… colour of her eyes? Man: Sort of blue, I think? I never really noticed. Officer: What’s the colour of her hair? Man: Well, that changes all the time depending on the hair dresser she goes to. Officer: what clothes was she wearing the last time

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