Airplane Jokes

A female flight attendant walks down the isle and offers a man some headphones. “Would you like some headphones?” She asks.

A man and a woman are sitting together on an airplane The woman appears to have allergies. She sneezes

Airline pilot... An airline pilot makes the usual announcements over the cabin PA system as the plane reaches cruising altitude. He then sets the plane on autopilot and turns to the co-pilot and jokes- “All I need now is a cup of coffee and a blow job.”

Why don't airplanes have a 'reverse' drive? No one wants a receding airline...

A mother and her son are sitting in an airplane. The kid looks up and asks

Why do they call the first episode a pilot? Because without one

A pilot forgets his mic open And goes: ""Oh man

There was a blonde who found herself sitting next to a lawyer on an airplane. The lawyer just kept bugging the blonde wanting her to play a game of intelligence.

Pierre the French pilot

A Man Sits Next to a Girl on a Plane A guy was seated next to a 10-year-old girl on an airplane. Being bored

A Muslim enters a building Along with 500 passengers and an airplane.

A man lost his luggage so he took the airline company to court Apparently he lost his case

An Air Force pilot a Naval Officer and an Army Private all go to the bathroom

Two pilots with dark eyeglasses and canes walk into a plane Everyone starts to comment on it. And a guy asks the flight attendant:

Don’t be a Donald. An airplane was about to crash. There were 4 passengers on board

A man is sitting next to a woman on an airplane She sneezes

[LONG] A joke my uncle told me the other day A helicopter pilot takes his grandfather along with him on the helicopter and decides to do some stunts in the air.

A plane is spotted trying to land at Area 51 One day at Area 51 a radar tech spots a single engine plane on final approach to the secret Air Force base. The plane touches down and is immediately surrounded by armed guards. The plane is impounded and the pilot is whisked off for questioning. The pilot claims that he had been flying from Las Vegas

A Mormon and an Irishman are on a plane. After the airplane was airborne

3 men decide to throw some things out of an airplane. (My favorite joke as a kid) There are 3 men in an airplane and they thought it would be funny to drop some things out of the plane. So the first guy thinks it’s funny to drop a brick out of the plane. The second guy tried to one up him and he decided to drop a bowling ball out of the plane. The last guy thought they weren’t going hard enough so he threw a bomb out of the plane.

Working on an airline you receive free or reduced-priced flights.

An airplane was about to crash with 4 people in it.

Pierre the famous French fighter pilot Pierre the famous French fighter was flying over occupied territory when he was shot down

A pilot bailed out of his crashing plane and landed on an uncharted island. He soon found himself surrounded by natives with spears. A big native adorned with decorations points at the pilot.

What sound does an airplane make when it bounces off the ground? Boeing.