Adolf Hitler Jokes

What do Terry Fox and Adolf Hitler have in common? Neither one of them could finish a race.

To be honest, Adolf Hitler was a hero... Afterall, he was the one who killed Adolf Hitler.

Jesus Christ fed 2,000 people with 5 loaves of bread and 2 fish but Adolf Hitler made 6 million Jews toast.

The world would be a much better place if people like Adolf Hitler were still born. EDIT: typo, 'stillborn'

Lucky jew. A really old jew won the lottery. There's a little ceremony where they hand him a large check containing many zero's. His asked to give a little speech and so he does. ""First I want to thank my wife for standing by me even when times were hard. I want to thank my children who take so good care of us now we're a little older. I want to thank my cleaning lady and my gardener. I want to thank... bla bla bla. And finally I want to thank adolf hitler. Thank you good night."" Everybody was…

Adolf Hitler wrote a book about his life with Ava Braun. He called it Mein Kunt.

Knock knock anti-joke Knock knock Who's there? Not Adolf Hitler . . .

Adolf Hitler banned 5k races but sponsored an annual marathon... ...Because Marathons are the master race.

Jesus, his disciples, Adolf Hitler and a group of Schutzstaffel walk into an empty bar... The bartender says, ""Man, this is great for business!""

Who is The best Jewish baker? Adolf Hitler

Adolf Hitler walks into a bar... The bartender notices him and asks, ""Hey Hitler, didn't you snuff it in the second world war? What are you doing here?"""" ""Yeah, I guess I did, but now I'm back. I've come here to kill six million more Jews and eight anteaters."" ""Why on earth would you want to kill eight anteaters?"" the bartender asks. ""I knew nobody would care about six million Jews.""

Yankee Doodle can use other names too Helen Keller went to town while riding on a pony, stuck a feather in her hat and called it 'UGLABERPL' Adolf Hitler went to town while riding on a pony, when someone stuck a feather in his hat, he threw it on the ground and screamed 'NIEN!'

Hitler at a bar A man walks into a bar and believes to see Adolf Hitler sitting on a bar stool. The man walks up to the man, and in an unsure tone, asks: Are you Adolf Hitler. At which point the following conversation ensues: Hitler: Why yes, I am Man: I thought you were dead! Hitler: No, my friend. I have been in hiding all these years. I am slowly rebuilding my army. Soon we are going to rise up, kill three million Jews, and one clown. Man: Why kill a clown? Hitler: See!! No one cares about th…

Besides being an famous chief (despite burning everything he cooked), Adolf Hitler was also a star athlete.... He was the fascist kid on the playground.

A guy walks into a bar... A guy walks into a bar, sits down and orders a beer. As he is sitting there he catches sight of the guy sitting next to him and notices the man looks exactly like Adolf Hitler. The man ignores this at first and quietly drinks his beer. After some time his curiosity gets the better of him, so he turns to the man and says, "Has anyone ever told you that you look just like Hitler?" To the guy's surprise, the man turns right to him and says in a thick German accent, "T…

An elderly Jewish woman wins the lottery, $30 million after taxes. She goes to her Rabbi to discuss what to do with the money. She first says, "I'd like to spend $10 million on myself and my family." The Rabbi replies, "It would be good to enjoy your winnings, and family is important." She then says she'd like to donate another $10 million to the synagogue and the charity they run, since the synagogue has always been there for her, she'd like to give back. The Rabbi says they could always u…

So a holocaust survivor wins the lottery... So Moishe wins the lottery, reporters start asking this Holocaust survivor about his plans for the money. without hesitation he says he is going to commission a statue of adolf Hitler... the reporters are stunned and ask why a survivor of such an atrocity would do such a thing. Moishe rolls up his sleeve - "he gave me the winning numbers"

I told my wife that I have the same birthday as Adolf Hitler, 4/20. She said, "It's crazy to think that such a loathsome figure, who ruined the lives of so many people... ... shares the same birthday as Adolf Hitler."

What's the difference between Michael Phelps and Adolf Hitler? Phelps can end a race.

Adolf Hitler is given a day out of hell back on Earth.

What's the difference between Michael Phelps and Adolf Hitler?? Michael Phelps managed to finish a race.

What's the difference between Michael Phelps and Adolf Hitler? Michael Phelps can finish a race.

What do Justin Bieber and Adolf Hitler have in common? Neither of them are musicians.

Ruin a quote by attributing it to the wrong person ""Don't cry because it is over. Smile because it happened."" -Adolf Hitler

Adolf Hitler wasn't so bad... I mean he did kill Hitler.