Adam Jokes

Creationism v Feminism In the beginning god made everything and said it was good. Then he asked Adam, "Is there anything else you could possibly want?" Adam replied, "I want a companion. Someone that will always be there for me. Someone that will love me, console me when I'm sad, celebrate with me when I'm happy, and stimulate me when I'm bored. I want a true soul mate." God says "Ok... But that will cost you an arm and a leg." Adam sighs and says "Alright then... What can I get for a rib…

God's perfect woman Adam was walking around the Garden of Eden feeling very lonely, so God asked, "What is wrong with you?" Adam said he didn't have anyone to talk to. God said he was going to give him a companion. God said, "This person will cook for you and wash your clothes. She will always agree with every decision you make. She will bear your children and never ask you to get up in the middle of the night to take care of them. She will not nag you, and she will always be the first to admi…

Sunday school Little April was not the best student in Sunday school. Usually she slept through the class. One day the teacher called on her while she was napping, "Tell me, April, who created the universe?" When April didn't stir, little Johnny, a boy seated in the chair behind her, took a pin and jabbed her in the rear. "GOD ALMIGHTY!" shouted April and the teacher said, "Very good" and April fell back asleep. A while later the teacher asked April, "Who is our Lord and Saviour," But, April d…

What did Eve say to Adam after she had her twenty-third child?" Little April was not the best student in Sunday school. Usually she slept through the class. One day the teacher called on her while she was napping, "Tell me, April, who created the universe?" When April didn't stir, little Johnny, a boy seated in the chair behind her, took a pin and jabbed her in the rear. "GOD ALMIGHTY!" shouted April and the teacher said, "Very good" and April fell back asleep. A while later the teacher asked …

Joke A child asked his father :D A child asked his father, "How were people born?" So his father said, "Adam and Eve made babies, then their babies became adults and made babies, and so on." The child then went to his mother, asked her the same question and she told him, "We were monkeys then we evolved to become like we are now." The child ran back to his father and said, "You lied to me!" His father replied, "No, your mom was talking about her side of the family."

Adam and Eve Little Mary was not the best student in Sunday School. Usually she slept through the class. One day the teacher called on her while she was napping, "Tell me, Mary, who created the universe?" When Mary didn't stir, little Johnny, an altruistic boy seated in the chair behind her, took a pin and jabbed her in the rear. "God Almighty!" shouted Mary, and the teacher said, "Very good," and Mary fell back asleep. A while later the teacher asked Mary, "Who is our Lord and Savior," but…

My grandpa told me this one! One day at kindergarten, the teacher says to the class of five-year-olds, "I'll give $2 to the child who can tell me who the most famous man who ever lived was." An Irish boy raised his hand and said, "Please, Miss, it was St. Patrick." The teacher said, "Sorry, Sean, that's not correct." Then a Scottish boy put his hand up and said, "Please, Miss, it was St. Andrew." The teacher replied, "I'm sorry, Hamish, that's not right either." Finally, a Jewish boy, Adam,…

Once there was a girl who went to a Catholic school. While there, she always fell asleep. At one point, the teacher called on her and asked "Who is the son of God?" The boy behind her tried to wake her up so he did so by poking her butt with his pencil. The girl jumped and yelled "JESUS CHRIST!" The teacher looked at her surprised and said "Correct!" Later on the teacher called on her again. This time she asked "Who is our lord in Heaven?" The boy woke her up again by poking her in the bu…

Little Mary Little Mary was not the best student in Sunday School. Usually she slept through the class. One day the teacher called on her while she was napping, ''Tell me, Mary, who created the universe?'' When Mary didn't stir, little Johnny, an altruistic boy seated in the chair behind her, took a pin and jabbed her in the rear. ''God Almighty !'' shouted Mary and the teacher said, ''Very good'' and Mary fell back to sleep. A while later the teacher asked Mary, ''Who is our Lord and Savior?'…

God see's Adam feeling depressed, and he decides help him out. God says, " Adam, I will make you a companion who will cook for you, clean for you, do your laundry and please you in every way you can imagine". Adam says, "Wow! This sounds great, but what will it cost me?" God replies,"An arm and a leg". Adam thinks about this for a second and says, "What can I get for a rib?"

Susie wasn't the best student in Sunday school... Susie was sleeping in class when the teacher asked her "who created the universe?" Timmy, who was sitting behind her, poked her with his pencil to wake her up and she yelled out "God Almighty!" Very good, said the teacher. Later, when Susie was sleeping again her teacher asked her "Who is our lord and saviour?" Again Timmy poker her with a pencil and she yelled out "Jesus Christ!" Well done, said the teacher, who was clearly impressed. Even la…

Creationism vs Evolution.....sorta. A child asked his father, "How were people born?" So his father said, "Adam and Eve made babies, then their babies became adults and made babies, and so on." The child then went to his mother, asked her the same question and she told him, "We were monkeys then we evolved to become like we are now." The child ran back to his father and said, "You lied to me!" His father replied, "No, your mom was talking about her side of the family."

Lost Chapter In Genesis Adam had been moping around all day in the Garden of Eden and God finally said, "Adam, what's up with all this moping?" Adam told God that he was lonely. God said He could fix that, no problem. In short order he could make a partner for Adam, and she would be called a "woman." God told Adam that the woman would collect his food, cook it for him, and care for all his needs and wants. She would also agree with all his decisions and not question his authority as head of …

Three Nuns die and go to heaven. Three Nuns die and go to heaven, but in order to enter, they must prove their faith by answering one question each. The first nun was asked "Who was the first man on earth?" The nun replies "Obviously it was Adam" The lights flicker, the bells ring and the gates open. The first nun walks through. The second nun was asked "Who was the first woman on earth?" "Easy" says the second nun "It was Eve" The lights flicker, the bells ring and the gates open. The se…

Sunday School Little April was not the best student in Sunday school. Usually she slept through the class. One day the teacher called on her while she was napping, "Tell me, April, who created the universe?" When April didn't stir, little Johnny, a boy seated in the chair behind her, took a pin and jabbed her in the rear. "GOD ALMIGHTY!" shouted April and the teacher said, "Very good" and April fell back asleep. A while later the teacher asked April, "Who is our Lord and Saviour," Bu…

Adam and Eve A little girl asked her father, "How did the human race start?" The father answered, "God made Adam and Eve, they had children and so all mankind was made." Two days later the girl asked her mother the same question. The mother answered: "Many years ago there were monkeys from which the human race evolved." The confused girl returned to her father and said, "Dad, how is it possible that you told me the human race was created by God, and Mum said they developed from monkeys?" The…

Three Nuns get into Heaven Three nuns had died and were going to Heaven. They gathered at the Pearly Gates and met St. Peter, who said "Congratulations Sisters you have made it to Heaven! Now to get in you must answer a question each" One Nun steps forward and he asks "Who was the first man in Creation?" "Well that would be Adam" she said. Trumpets played, the gates opened, and she walked in. The second Nun steps forward, and he asks "Who was the first Woman?" "Well that would be Eve" she…

Jenny was not the best student in Sunday School. Usually she slept through the class. One day the teacher called on her while she was having a nap: "Tell me, Jenny, who created the universe?" She didn't stir, so Mike, a boy in the chair behind her, quickly took a pencil and jabbed her in the rear. "GOD ALMIGHTY!" shouted Jenny And the teacher said, "Very good". Soon, Jenny was fast asleep again. A while later the teacher asks Jenny: "Who is our Lord and Saviour?" Once again, Mike pricke…

Sunday School Little April was not the best student in Sunday school. Usually she slept through the class. One day the teacher called on her while she was napping. "Tell me, April, who created the universe?" When April didn't stir, little Johnny, a boy seated in the chair behind her, took a pin and jabbed her in the rear. "GOD ALMIGHTY!" shouted April and the teacher said, "Very good" and April fell back asleep. A while later the teacher asked April, "Who is our Lord and Savior," but Ap…

A child asked his father, "How were people born?" A child asked his father, "How were people born?" So his father said, "Adam and Eve made babies, then their babies became adults and made babies, and so on." The child then went to his mother, asked her the same question and she told him, "We were monkeys then we evolved to become like we are now." The child ran back to his father and said, "You lied to me!" His father replied, "No, your mom was talking about her side of the family.

Josey wasn't the best pupil at Sunday school. Josey wasn't the best pupil at Sunday school. She often fell asleep and one day while she was sleeping, the teacher asked her a question. "Who is the creator of the universe?" Joe was sitting next to Josey and decided to poke her with a pin to wake her up. Josey jumped and yelled, "God almighty!" The teacher congratulated her. A little later the teacher asked her another question, "Tell me who is our lord and savior?" Joe poked Josey again and she y…

Little Mary was not the best student... in Sunday school. Usually she slept through the class. One day the teacher called on her while she was napping, 'Tell me, Mary, who created the universe?' When Mary didn't stir, little Johnny, and altruistic boy seated in the chair behind her, took a pin and jabbed it in her rear. 'God Almighty!' shouted Mary and the teacher said, 'Very good,' and Mary slowly fell back asleep. A while later the teacher asked Mary, 'Who is our Lord and Saviour?' But Ma…

Ohh Jhonny!!!!! Little April was not the best student in Sunday school. Usually she slept through the class. One day the teacher called on her while she was napping, "Tell me, April, who created the universe?" When April didn't stir, little Johnny, a boy seated in the chair behind her, took a pin and jabbed her in the rear. "GOD ALMIGHTY!" shouted April and the teacher said, "Very good" and April fell back asleep. A while later the teacher asked April, "Who is our Lord and Saviour," But, April…

Little Johnny was in Sunday school... ... and when the teacher was asking questions about the church, Johny realized the girl named Suzy was sleeping the whole time, and when she was called on, he poked her hard in the back with his pencil to try to wake her up and help her. The teacher asked Suzy "Who is our Lord and Savior?" He poked the pencil hard in to her kidney to wake her Suzy up, "JESUS!" She yelled angrily. The teacher called on Suzy again and asked " Who created the heavens and the …

3 nuns die and go to heaven 3 nuns die and go to heaven. They meet St. Peter at the golden gates. St. Peter said “You each have to answer 1 question. If the answer is right you can enter heaven and if you answer wrong you go straight to hell.” He calls the first nun and asks “Who did God make first?” Very happily she answers “Oooh that’s an easy one. God made Adam” Trumpets blast, the golden gates open and she walks in. Then St. Peter calls the second nun and asks “Who did God make second?”…