Apparently, "he's an army officer" isn't the correct response to "who's your daddy".

[Army Shooting Range] Officer: Are you locked & loaded? Soldiers: YES SIR! Officer: You may fire at will! Soldier Named Will: WTF?

The Wire Brush An Army officer decides to inspect soldiers recovering in one of the field hospitals he commands. He marches into one of the tents, goes up to the first private he sees and barks, ""What's your affliction, private?"" Standing at attention, ""Venereal warts, SIR!"" He then asks, ""And what treatment are you getting?"" ""Five minutes with the wire brush every day, SIR!"" Finally he asks, ""And what's your ambition, soldier?"" ""To get back to the frontline, SIR!"" He goes up to the…

A fighter pilot is shot down over Germany in World War II... He wakes up in a German POW hospital. A German officer is standing over his bed as he comes-to. ""I'm verry sorry to inform you, but vee haff had to amputate your left leg,"" says the officer. ""Oh no,"" cries the pilot, ""lost a limb? This is terrible news. Crutches for the rest of my life and all that. Listen, could you boys do me a favor? Could you drop my leg over my base, so it can receive an American burial?"" The German confers …