The Wire Brush An Army officer decides to inspect soldiers recovering in one of the field hospitals he commands. He marches into one of the tents, goes up to the first private he sees and barks, ""What's your affliction, private?"" Standing at attention, ""Venereal warts, SIR!"" He then asks, ""And what treatment are you getting?"" ""Five minutes with the wire brush every day, SIR!"" Finally he asks, ""And what's your ambition, soldier?"" ""To get back to the frontline, SIR!"" He goes up to the next private, ""What's your affliction, private?"" ""Chronic piles, SIR!"" ""And what treatment are you getting?"" ""Five minutes with the wire brush every day, SIR!"" ""And what's your ambition, soldier?"" ""To get back to the frontline, SIR!"" On it went until the officer had nearly made it through the whole ward. He goes up to the last private, looking like he may die at any moment. Taking it down a notch, ""What's your affliction, son?"" ""Gingivitis, sir."" ""And what treatment are you getting?"" ""Five minutes with the wire brush every day, sir."" ""And what's your ambition, soldier?"" ""TO GET THE WIRE BRUSH BEFORE THOSE OTHER GUYS, SIR!!""