A duck walks into a hardware store ... He waddles up to the counter and asks the salesman: ""Excuse me sir, do you have any duck food?"" The salesman: ""Sorry, this is a hardware store, no duck food."" The little guy is sad and waddles away. The next day the duck is back, walks up to the counter and asks the salesman: ""Excuse me sir, but do you have any duck food?"". Now the guy gets mad: ""This is a hardware store, we DON'T have any duck food. Now get the hell outta here, or I'm gonna nail your flat little feet to the floor!"". The poor little guy is shocked and waddles out quickly. The next day, the duck is back. He walks slowly up to the counter: ""Excuse me sir, do you have any nails?"". Taken aback, the guy checks and says ""sorry, just sold our last nails."" The duck: ""In that case, do you have any duck food?"" (Note: I first heard this in French, my translation, still works!)