Victor Jokes

[courtroom] Timothy: I was not involved Victor: Nor was I Lawyer: You could say it was a Vic-, Tim-less cri- Judge: You're all going to jail

Customer spelling her name: Me: Is that V as in Victor or Z as in Zebra? Her: Z as in Xylophone. And this, kids, is why education is key.

Mother: ""Come on, Victor, you have to get out of bed or you'll be late for school."" Victor: ""Mom, do I have to? All the teachers hate me, and all the students hate me, too."" Mother: ""Yes, you do."" Victor: ""Give me one good reason."" Mother: ""Because you're 47 years old, and you're the principal.""

LPT: Learn the military alphabet Please learn it. It'll save you so much time on the phone. Alpha, Bravo, Charlie, Delta, Echo, Foxtrot, Golf, Hotel, India, Juliet, Kilo, Lima, Mike, November, Oscar, Papa, Quebec, Romeo, Sierra, Tango, Uniform, Victor, Whiskey, X-Ray, Yankee, and Zulu. Ever tried to spell something out and the other person mixes around letters? SNot F, S! S as in Sam! That doesn't work. Sierra, Echo, November, Delta, November, Uniform, Delta, Echo, Sierra. Works like a charm. ED…

The Three Kingdoms (Redux) Once upon a time, there were three kingdoms, all bordering on the same lake. For centuries, these three kingdoms had fought over an island centered at the middle of the lake. Over the years, the kingdoms had shed much blood and made many sacrifices in order to have control over the immense beauty and bountiful resources inherent in the small island; however no kingdom has managed to gain complete control over the land for very long. These kingdoms had resorted to prayi…

Funny helpdesk chat transcripts: Helpdesk: What kind of computer do you have? Female customer: A white one... -------------------------------------------------------------------- Hi, this is Celine. I can't get my diskette out. Helpdesk: Have you tried pushing the button? Customer: Yes, sure, it's really stuck. Helpdesk: That doesn't sound good; I'll make a note ...."" Customer: No ... wait a minute... I hadn't inserted it yet... it's still on my desk... sorry ........ --------------------------…

My friend Victor changed his last name to "E". No one knows why. He's become a Mystery.

Late for School Mother: "Come on, Victor, you have to get out of bed or you'll be late for school." Victor: "Mom, do I have to? All the teachers hate me, and all the students hate me, too." Mother: "Yes, you do." Victor: "Give me one good reason." Mother: "Because you're 34 years old, and you're the principal."

The price of victory I wrote this joke in a book I published recently. >“Would you like to hear a joke I wrote about seafood?” > >“Sure.” > >***A man went to a restaurant and ordered lobster. When the plate was placed before him, the lobster was in numerous pieces. The man asked the waiter, “Why is my lobster so broken up?” The waiter answered, ”The creatures fight inside the tank and they break off each other's limbs.” The man then said, “Okay, bring me the winner.”*** > >“I think…

a Trumper dies and goes to heaven. After getting processed in by St.Peter he goes to find God. He finds God in the garden listening to the birds. M: "Can I ask you something?" G: "Anything my child" M: "Who was the rightful victor of the 2020 US election?" G: "Joe Biden won fair and square my child" M: "This goes higher up than I thought."

Mother: ""Come on Victor

What is Victoria's Secret? 'Her' real name is Victor!

what happens when a nunga bucha walks into a bar? he walk in and screams victor and victor screams aaryan.

The employer called his secretary and said: “Ashley, look at this letter. I cannot make out whether it is from my tailor or my lawyer. They are both named Victor.” The note read: “I have begun your suit. Ready to be tried on next Thursday, Victor!”

A certain tax attorney took on a very complex case of tax evasion for a rather mysterious client. He devoted over a year to the case, familiarizing himself with every loophole and angle of current legislation, and made a brilliant argument before the court. His client was called out of town when the jury returned with its verdict, a sweeping victory for his client on every count. Flushed with victor, the lawyer exuberantly cabled his client, "Justice has triumphed!" A realistic fellow, the clien…