Any woman with three or more exes in her city could have told Obama how to avoid Putin in Normandy.

Obama and Putin have a discussion.. Putin: Let's just talk about this man to man.. Obama: Ok one moment, let me get Michelle. My uncle told it much better but I can't remember how he said it. Feel free to repost it if you can format it better.

Barack Obama and Vladimir Putin went fishing... After a couple of hours, Obama was flinging his arms around, swatting mosquitos away, while Putin sat there, watching the pond, unbothered. ""How is it, that these bloodsuckers only target my blood reserves?"" Asked Obama. ""They don't bite you at all!"" Putin smiled knowingly and replied: ""They're not allowed to"".

Presidential Race No one voted in the presidential election because everyone was so upset with the shit show. While trying to figure out what to do, Obama suggests an actual presidential race around the white house. They let bernie sanders run but since he's old he takes 24 mins. Trump goes and gets a time of 14:36. Hillary is all fired up and ready to beat trump. She is hopping over shrubbery and stepping on flowers. She finishes just under 10 mins. After she finishes, she proclaims, ""wow that…