Hear about the new bar in town? Pat and Mike are sitting at the bar when Pat says, ""You hear they got this new bar... and you go inside and for half a buck you get a beer, a free lunch and they take you in the back room and get you laid... Mike says, ""Now wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute. Do you mean to say there's a new bar and you go inside and for a half a buck they give you a beer, a free lunch and they take you in the back room and they get you laid?"" Pat says, ""That's right.…

Typical vaguely racist bar joke [xpost r/forwardsfromgrandma] At a world brewing convention in the States, the CEOs of various Brewing organizations retired to the bar at the end of each day's conference. Bruce, CEO of Fosters, shouted to the Barman: "In 'Strylya, we make the best bladdy beer in the world, so pour me a Bladdy Fosters, mate." Bob, CEO of Budweiser, calls out next: "In the States, we brew the finest beers in the world, and I make the King of them all gimme a Bud." Hans steps up…

So when I was an altar boy when I was a kid... ...and its not all that you'd think it would be. Contrary to popular belief, an aletrboy's true purpose is to put up with the priests shit, and to pick up the slack when he drops the ball. Anyway, one day I was sweeping the chapel floor when i heard somebody whisper my name. I looked around and saw the Father beaconing me toward the confessional. He had been listening to this one woman for an hour, and really, really, needed a bathroom break. He a…

Three guys called Mick, Pat and Tat were in a pub. The bartender asks them, "Are you all related?" Mick says "Yeah, we are triplets." Bartender says,"Well how come two of you are 6 ft tall and one is only 4 ft tall?" "Well" says Mick,"Me and Pat were always breast fed so there was no tit for Tat."