In Soviet Russia, people are waiting in line for meat. The butcher pokes his head out and says, ""Comrades, the truck will be here shortly, please be patient."" An hour later, ""Comrades, the truck broke down and had to unload some meat. All Jews are requested to leave."" The Jews grudgingly leave the line. Another hour later, ""Comrades, the truck broke down again. All Ukranians have to leave."" Another two hours later, ""Comrades, the truck broke down again. Non-Russians please leave."" Anothe…

In Soviet Russia a Man Goes to Buy a Car... He goes up to the owner and asks for a car, to which the owner responds: 'You know there is a 10 year waiting list?' The man then answers, 'OK,' and after some time he then agreed to buy a car. So he pays for the car in advance, and just before he leaves he asks the owner, 'Can I pick the car up in the morning or afternoon?' 'It's 10 years away, what does it matter?' 'The plumber is coming in the morning'.

One day in Soviet Russia, an officer is ordered to give a ticket to anyone speeding Mikhail Gorbachev comes driving into Russia after a meeting in belgrade, he is with his chauffeur and must get to the Kremlin as fast as possible. He tells his chauffeur to get to the back and that he will drive. As Gorbachev is speeding, the officer sees the speeding car and pulls him over. At the end of the day he is asked why he didn't give a ticket to that speeding car. The officer replies with, ""I couldn't …

Ronald Reagan's favorite joke A woman in Soviet Russia was at the car dealer buying a car. When she settled on what she wanted they started taking about delivery date. The sales person proposed a date two years away. The woman said that wouldn't work because the plumber was coming that day.