Woods The Jokes

a bear and a rabbit are shitting in the woods The bear asks the rabbit if he has problems with shit sticking to his fur. The rabbit replies, ""no why?"" The bear then wipes his ass with the rabbit.

An Old man and young boy walk into the woods... ... The young boy looks up to the old man and says ""Gee Mister these woods sure are creepy!"" The old man looks down and says ""You're telling me! I have to go out of here alone!""

A priest and his atheist friend go hunting in the woods The atheist spots a turkey in the distance. He aims his rifle, shoots, and misses. ""Dammit, I missed!"" ""Don't say that,"" says the priest, ""lest you incur God's wrath."" They walk on some more and the atheist spots a rabbit. He aims his rifle, shoots, and misses again. ""Dammit, I missed!"" ""Don't say that!"" Says the priest again. ""God will surely strike you down next time!"" Finally, in the deepest part of the woods, they spot a lar…

A Military Chief and a Liuetenant Stumbled Across Some Familiar Tracks in the Woods... The LT says, ""Those are bear tracks, we should head in the other direction."" Chief says, ""Those are not bear tracks, they are deer tracks. We can keep traveling in this direction. We will find civilization soon."" LT says, ""Sir I am a commisioned officer in the military, I went to college, and I out rank you. Those are bear tracks!"" Chief responds, ""I am the highest enlisted rank in the military, and I h…

A rabbit and a bear were walking through the woods The bear turns to the rabbit and says man I gotta shit. The rabbit said you know what me too. They each find their oun perspective bush, then meet back on the trail. Then bear turns to the rabbit and asks sheepishly, do you ever have a problem with shit sticking to your fur? Rabbit says no, Bear picks him up and wipes his ass...

If you want to sleep with my daughter... One halloween night, Paul, Mark and Jake were on a road trip and stopped in an old farm to sleep in the barn. A witch appeared in the barn. She said to the guys ''If you don't want me to kill you, you will have to bring me some fruits from the woods.'' The guys were confused but agreed to go pick up the fruits. They each went their on way. Paul came back first with a blueberry. The witch said ''Take the blueberry and put it up your ass if you want to live…

The pedophile is walking into the woods with a child..... The child says, ""gosh mister, is awfully scary I'm these woods."" The pedophile replies, ""how do you think I feel? I gotta walk out of here alone.""

Three hunters come across some tracks in the middle of the woods... The first hunter says its wolf tracks the second says its bear tracks the third was hit by a trian

An 8 year old and his uncle walk deep into the woods... The 8 year old turns to his uncle and says ""I'm scared."" The uncle responds "" you think your scared? I have to walk out of here alone!""

A bear in the woods The other day I wanted to take walk through the woods. The weather looked like it could rain soon I decided to take my umbrella with me. Just to be safe. It didn't seem like a storm was coming, but there's no point getting wet just because you're too lazy to take an umbrella. As I was walking I saw a grizzly some 50 feet away from. I almost pissed my pants. I expected him to charge me any moment and I was looking where I could run or what I could do. Then I noticed he seemed …

A bear and rabbit are walking in the woods The bear goes man I have to take a major shit. Rabbit goes me too. So they both get in position and start crapping. The rabbit is making small talk when they get on topic of hygene. Bear asks the rabbit, hey do you have problems with shit sticking to your fur? Rabbit goes, yuck no. Bear goes: great grabs the rabbit and wipes his ass

A bear is chasing a rabbit in the woods... The happen upon a stream where a frog yells at them, ""I'm a magical frog. I'll grant each of you 3 wishes since your the first to grace me with your presence on over a hundred years"" ""ok but i go first,"" says the bear. ""I wish every bear in this forest, except for me, were female!"" And poof! All the bears are female. ""Ok ok my turn, I wish for a helmet!"" Says the rabbit. Poof! A helmet appears in his hands. ""you're an idiot rabbit. Such a waste…

A bear and a rabbit are pooping in the woods The bear asks the rabbit - ""do you have a problem with poop sticking to your fur?"" ""Nope"" So the bear wipes his butt with the rabbit.

A grandmother was telling her little granddaughter what her own childhood was like: ""We used to skate outside on a pond. I had a swing made from a tire; it hung from a tree in our front yard. We rode our pony. We picked wild raspberries in the woods."" The little girl was wide-eyed taking this in. At last she said ""I sure wish I'd gotten to know you sooner!""