Wales Jokes

An American visits Wales (Welsh humour)... An American visiting Wales meets a farmer. ""Is this your field?"" he asks. ""My *field*?"" says the farmer, ""See that ditch over there, all the way to that ruined tractor, and over to that little hill in the distance. That's *all* my land."" ""Well,"" says the American. ""If I were to take my car, and drive all the way around my land, I wouldn't return until the following noon!"" ""Oh I see,"" nods the Welshman knowingly. ""I once had a car like that.…

A guy is sitting in a bar and hears some overweight ladies talking..... he notices that they have an interesting accent. As he continues to eavesdrop, he realizes that he is having a hard time placing where the accent is from. Finally he walks up to the ladies to ask them and says, ""Hi. Are you ladies from Scotland?"" One lady retorts back annoyingly, ""It's Wales you jerk!"" So the man says, ""I'm sorry, are you Whales from Scotland?""

A man is sitting in a bar... When he overhears a couple women talking in a peculiar accent, he approaches the women; Man: excuse me are you ladies from England? Woman: Wales you idiot! Man: sorry are you Whales from England?

Old lady at Prince of Wales Hospital So today I was walking through the Prince of Wales Hospital looking for where my appointment was and an old lady who must have been at least in her 80s walks past me and says ""hey I've got a joke for you, why don't lobsters share?"" I look at her all confused and ask why and she replies ""because they're shellfish."" I'm sure this jokes been heard before (I know I've heard it just forgot) but it was more the randomness of the situation that made it funny.

A large marine mammal was recently in Cardiff. It had a Wales of a time.

A man notices two women sitting at the bar have heavy accents. He approaches them and says, ""By any chance, are you two ladies from Ireland?"" ""It's Wales, you idiot,"" one snaps back at him. ""Oh, I'm sorry,"" he says. ""Are you two whales from Ireland?""

Three ""plus size"" women walk into an Irish bar, and order 3 Bwrz Fynt's The bartender says, ""I can't understand what you said."" One of the girls says, ""I'm sorry, we're from Wales."" The bartender replies, ""That explains everything.""

A man was sitting on a blanket at the ocean beach. He had no arms & no legs. Three women, the first from England, the second from Wales and the third from Ireland, were walking past the poor man feeling sorry for him. The English woman said: ""Have you ever had a hug?"" The man said ""No,"" so she gave him a nice warm hug and walked on. The Welsh woman said, ""Have you ever had a kiss?"" The man said, ""No,"" so she gave him a gentle kiss and walked on. The Irish woman came to him and said: …

Fat chicks. Last night I was having some wings and beer with a coworker after work. There were these two pretty, but kinda fat girls drinking at the bar and being loud. They had what I could have sworn was a Scottish accent. I'm a big fan of girls from the UK, so I struck up a conversation. I asked them, ""So... you two ladies are from Scotland?"" I could see immediately that I had offended them. The brunette scowled and said, hotly, ""WALES!"" I apologized and said, ""I'm sorry. Are you two wha…

What is the most popular bank in Wales? Welsh Fargo... ...gramps made me do it.

...And that's the last thing I remember So I was at the bar the other day, and I heard these two kind of hefty women talking to each other in a funny accent. So I go up to them and say, ""Hey are you two ladies from Scotland?"" One of them turns to me and says, ""Wales you idiot!"" I say, ""Oh sorry. Are you two whales from Scotland?""

A man is looking to buy a house in England, in the West Midlands... An estate agent asks the man about what he is looking for in a house and the man says, ""Well I'd like it to have at least four bedrooms, a nice dining room and I'd also really like a large garden. Oh, and it MUST be an east-facing garden. If it faces West, I won't buy it."" The estate agent looks puzzled at this and asks him ""May I ask why it's so important that the garden faces east?"" and the man responds, ""because for that…

I was in a London pub last Friday night ...and noticed two chubby women by the bar. They had very strong accents, so I asked, ""Are you two ladies from Scotland?"" One of them turned to me and yelled, ""It's WALES you cunt!"" I said, ""oh, I'm sorry, are you two whales from Scotland?""

I was in a pub... I was in a pub last Saturday night, drank a few, and noticed two very large women by the bar. They both had pretty strong accents, so I asked, ""Hey, are you two ladies from Ireland?"" One of them chirped saying, ""It's WALES, you friggin' idiot!"" So, I immediately apologized and said, ""I'm sorry. Are you two whales from Ireland?"" That's pretty much the last thing I remember...

Just been chatting on Skype to a young lady who lives in Wales, she's asked me to come and visit her...this weekend I'm off to Bangor.

Why don't you see penguins in Britain? Because they're afraid of Wales

What's the difference between a tennis ball and the prince of Wales? One is heir to the throne and the other is thrown into the air.

Three tourists were driving through Wales. As they were approaching Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwllllantysiliogogogoch, they started arguing about the pronunciation of the town's name. They argued back and forth until they stopped for lunch. As they stood at the counter one asked the blonde employee, ""Before we order, could you please settle an argument for us? Would you please pronounce where we are... very slowly?"" The girl leaned over the counter and said, ""Burrrrrr, gerrrrrr, Kiii…

It's that time of year to take our annual senior citizen test. Exercising the brain is as important as exercising muscles. As we grow older, it's important to keep mentally alert. If you don't use it, you lose it! Below is a very private way to gauge your loss or non-loss of intelligence. Take the test presented here to determine if you're losing it or not. The spaces below are so you don't see the answers until you've made your answer. OK, relax, clear your mind and begin. 1. What do you put in…

A man was sitting on a blanket at the ocean beach. He had no arms & no legs. Three women, the first from England, the second from Wales and the third from Ireland, were walking past the poor man feeling sorry for him. The English woman said: "Have you ever had a hug?" The man said "No," so she gave him a nice warm hug and walked on. The Welsh woman said, "Have you ever had a kiss?" The man said, "No," so she gave him a gentle kiss and walked on. The Irish woman came to him and said: "Av…

A string of jokes I heard a while ago How do you get four elephants in a mini cooper? Two in the front, two in the back. How do you get four giraffes in a mini cooper? You can't because of all the elephants. How do you get two whales in a mini cooper? Same way you get to Wales in any other car, down the M4, over the Severn Bridge. How can you tell if there's an elephant in your fridge? Footprints in the butter. How can you tell if there are two elephants in your fridge? You can hea…

At a small London pub, 3 girls are chatting. An Englishman hears them and notices their distinctive accent that he so easily recognizes. He approaches then smoothly and asks: "are you girls from Scotland?" In a condescending tone, one of them turns around and says: "It's Wales, idiot!" "Oh I'm sorry, are you whales from Scotland?"

So there were two larger girls at the bar... I went to the bar and overheard two heavy girls talking with an odd accent. I asked them, 'Are you two ladies from Scotland?' One turned to me and said, 'It's Wales, you idiot!' 'Oh, I'm sorry. Are you two whales from Scotland?'

A guy is sitting at a bar... and he hears a few women at the far end of the bar. They sound like they are from the UK so he looks over and sees 3 enormous, fat women. he walks over and asks: "so are you 3 women from Scotland?" "Wales" "oh, im sorry. so are you 3 whales from Scotland?"

An American visiting the U.K ....... has had a little too much to drink one particular night. He noticed two larger females sitting in the corner of the pub so he walks over to spark up a conversation and he says, hello ladies, I couldn’t help but notice your accents. ……Are you both from Ireland? They sneer at him and the one says it’s Wales! So the man says my apologies. ….Are you whales from Ireland?