Third Man Jokes

A man with two friends A man goes to heaven with two friends. When they get there they see ducks everywhere. St. Peter informs them that they can do whatever they want but don't step on the ducks. A week goes by and one man steps on a duck. St. Peter comes out with this ugly woman and says "" this is who you will spend eternity with"". A month later the second man steps on a duck. St. Peter shows up with a hideous woman and says ""this is who you will spend eternity with"". After a year the thi…

Three men were walking along when they came upon a wide, raging river. They needed to get to the other side, but had no idea how to do so. The first man prayed to God: "Please, God, give me the strength to cross this river." And POOF! God gave him powerful arms and strong legs, and he was able to swim across the mighty river in two hours. Seeing this, the second man prayed: "Please, God, give me the strength and ability to cross this river." And POOF! God gave him a rowing boat, and he was able …

Three retirees, each with a hearing loss, were playing golf one fine March day. One remarked to the other, ‘Windy, isn’t it?‘ No, ‘the second man replied, ‘it’s Thursday.’ The third man chimed in, ‘So am I. Let’s have a beer.’

Three men are at a bar, and two of the men are talking about the control they have over their wives, while the third remains silent. After a while, the first two men turn to the third and ask, "What about you? What kind of control do you have over your wife?" The third man turns to the first two and says, "Well, I'll tell you, just the other day I had her on her knees." The first two men were dumbfounded. "Wow! What happened next?" they asked. The third man takes a healthy swig of his beer, sigh…

Three men with pocket watches are standing on a hill. The first man throws his watch and halfway down the hill it breaks. The second man throws his and two thirds of the way down, his watch breaks. The third man throws his watch, walks down and catches it at the bottom. “How did you manage that?” asked the two men. “Easy”, said the third man, “my watch is 10 minutes slow!”

Three old men climbed to the top of a ladder where they were met by a genie who said, “As you return back down, whatever you shout, you will land into.” First man goes, “Beeeer” as he descends. “Braaandy” shouted the second man. The third man quite excitedly shouted, “Weeeeeeeeeeee!”

Four men went golfing one day. Three of them headed to the first tee and the fourth went into the clubhouse to take care of the bill. The three men started talking and bragging about their sons. The first man told the others, "My son is a home builder, and he is so successful that he gave a friend a new home for free. Just gave it to him!" The second man said, "My son was a car salesman, and now he owns a multi-line dealership. He's so successful that he gave one of his friends a new Mercedes, f…

Three men were sitting together bragging about how they had told their new wives what their household duties were to be. The first man had married a woman from Tennessee. He bragged that he had told his wife she was going to do all the dishes and house cleaning. He said it took a couple days, but on the third day he came home to a clean house and the dishes were done. The second man had married a woman from Florida. He bragged that he had given his wife orders that she was to do all the cleaning…