The Church Jokes

A boy pokes a girl with a pin at church The church priest asks the girl a question ""who is our lord and savior?"" *the boy stabs her with the pin* she yells ""JESUS CHRIST"" the priest says ""good good, who created us"" *the boy stabs her again* she yells ""GOD ALMIGHTY"" the priest says ""good good, now, what did Eve say to Adam after they had their 42nd child?"" *he stabs her again* the girl screams ""IF YOU PUT THAT THING IN MY ONE MORE TIME IM GONNA SHOVE IT DOWN YOUR THROAT!"" The priest f…

A man falls in love with a nun and they run away together... The church says it doesn't mind, as long as he doesn't get into the habit.

In a small town in America, a person decided to open up his bar business, which was right opposite to a church The church & its congregation started a campaign to block the bar from opening with petitions and prayed daily against his business. Work progressed. However, when it was almost complete and was about to open a few days later, a strong lightning struck the bar and it was burnt to the ground. The church folk were rather smug in their outlook after that, till The bar owner sued the ch…

An old man walks up to a priest, doctor, and a lawyer... and says "I'm going to die soon," He hands all three of them an envelope. "Inside each of these envelopes is 100,000 dollars. When I die, I want you 3 to put the 100,000 dollars in my casket because I want to die with the rest of my wealth." The three men gave their word and promised they would put the money in his casket. A few days later, the old man dies and the men payed their respects and slipped the envelope in the casket. After t…

Young Couple Gets Ban from The Church There were three couples

A priest was celebrating the twentieth anniversary of his arrival in the parish. To mark the occasion, the church had staged a special event at the town hall, to be attended by various local dignitaries. Invited to make a little speech of his own, the priest admitted: "When I first came here, all those years ago, my immediate thoughts were what a terrible town this was. For example, although obviously I cannot reveal his identity, the very first person who entered my confessional told me how he …

Henry and Ethel attended the same small-town church, where every week Ethel taught Sunday school. After admiring her from afar for years, Henry finally plucked up the courage to ask Ethel out to dinner. To his delight, she accepted and he booked them a table at his favourite restaurant. At the restaurant he asked her: "Would you like some wine with dinner?" "Oh no, Henry," said Ethel. "What would I tell my Sunday school class?" Henry was taken aback and didn't say much more until the end of the …