Russell Jokes

RUSSELL: I told you that cheese wasn't for you ME: [bitterly, mousetraps on both hands] Nothing's ever for me, is it Russell

What do you call a guy with no arms, no legs, and sits in a pile of leaves? Russell.

What do you call an epileptic in a bush? Russell

What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs in a pile of leaves? Russell

What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs_______... ... in the ocean? - Bob ... at your front door? - Matt ... nailed to the wall? - Art ... in a pile of leaves? - Russell ... in your mailbox? - Bill ... in the trash? - Chuck ... on your grill? - Frank

Jack, Brad, and Russell got shipwrecked in an island and were captured by vicious tribesmen. They were brought to the Chieftain, to which they were ordered to go into the jungle, pick a fruit and gather 12 pieces of it and present it back. The three hurriedly went to the jungle. Jack and Brad returned together. Jack gathered 12 bananas, and Brad picked 12 blueberries. Upon presenting the fruits, the Chief then told the two: ""I will let anyone of you live if you can shove the fruits that you bri…

A little boy is talking to his mom She says ""Russell, your father passed away a few months ago but before he did, he got me pregnant. Do you want to touch my belly?"" The boy touched her belly and said ""Wow, you're really big mom, how many babies are in here?"" ""Two "" the mother replied "" and I'm going to name them both after your father, Jimmy"" The boy flicked her stomach and said ""You can't name them both after dad!"" And with that, the mother yelled ""Stop! You're Russelling my Jimmies…

Russell Crowe arrested for cannibalism After been asked by the judge did he have any regrets for eating the female victim, Russell shook his head and said he was ""Glad he ate 'er""

""Hey Russell, You Want to Win Another Super Bowl?"" Wilson: ""Nah, I'll pass."" Just saw this on Facebook.

What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in a pile of leaves? Russell

A joke told to me by a philosophy major. Russell invited Wittgenstein to have breakfast with him one day. Russell asks Wittgenstein what he would like to have, Wittgenstein says he wants to have fired eggs, but upon trying to flip the eggs Russell accidentally broke the yoke of the eggs. At that moment, Wittgenstein rests his hand on Russell's shoulder and says, ""Whereof one cannot fry eggs, thereof one must have scrambled.""

Quadriplegic jokes I've gathered from over the years. What do you call a quadriplegic that hangs on your wall? Art. What do you call a quadriplegic that lays on your porch? Matt. What do you call a quadriplegic that is in a hole? Doug. What do you call a quadriplegic in a ditch? Phil. What do you call a quadriplegic doing water ski jumps? Skip. What do you call a quadriplegic floating in the water? Bob. What do you call a quadriplegic playing in a pile of leaves? Russell. What do you call a quad…

I'm not rich like Jack don't have a mansion like Russell or have a Porsche like Martin but I do love you and want to marry you. I love you too but what was that you said about Martin !

What do you call an elephant creeping through the jungle in the middle of the night ? Russell !

A joke for fall. What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in a pile of leaves? Russell.

What do you call a man with no arms and no legs playing in the leaves? Russell.

What do you call a man under a pile of leaves? - Russell. What do you call a man under a pile of leaves for thousands of years? Pete.

What do you call a man with no arms or legs playing in the leaves? Russell.

What Do You Call an Epileptic in a Pile of Leaves? Russell

What do you call a man who wears crisp packets as trousers? Russell.