Pinto Jokes

She said she wanted to bump uglies. So, naturally, I got all showered & freshened up and then I rammed my Ford Pinto into her Honda Element.

In heaven, in order to see what vehicle you will be given, Peter must ask you a question... The first man comes up, and Peter asks, ""Have you ever cheated on your wife?"" The man answers, ""no never!"" Peter replies, ""ok, you get a Rolls Royce."" A second man comes up, Peter asks him the same question and he answers, ""well once or twice, but only in the first year!"" ""Ok, you get a Buick"" A third man comes up, Peter asks him the question, and he answers, ""yeah, but not the last year!"" ""O…

3 men are in line to get into heaven St. Peter is waiting at the gates of heaven and calls the first man up. Peter says, ""You never cheated on your wife! I'm going to let you drive around heaven in a Ferrari!"" So he gets in the car and drives off through the gates. Peter then called 2nd man up. Peter says, ""Oh no, looks like you cheated on your wife TWICE! You are going to drive around heaven in an Accord!"" He gets into his car and drives through the gates. Peter calls the third man up and s…

Three friends die and go to heaven... and meet God at the gate. God tells them that he will give them cars to drive into heaven, but first they have to tell him how many times they cheated on their wives, and they shouldn't bother lying because he has a big record book of every person's actions. God turns to the first man and asks how many times he cheated on his wife, to which the man responds ""twice."" God flips through the big book, and sure enough, the man was telling the truth. ""Since you…

Three guys died and when St. Peter met them at the pearly gates, he said, ""I know that you guys are forgiven because you're here. Before I let you into Heaven, I have to ask you something. You have to have a car in Heaven because Heaven is so big. What kind of car you get will depend on your answer."" The first guy walked up and St. Peter asked him, ""How long were you married?"" He answered, ""24 years."" ""Did you ever cheat on your wife?"", St. Peter asked. The guy said, ""Yeah, 7 times ... …

Dale Jarrett, Rusty Wallace and Robert Pressely found themselves in hell. They were a little confused at their present situation, and they were startled to see a door in the wall open, behind the door was perhaps the ugliest 1973 Pinto they had ever seen. It was multi-colored with plenty of rust and primer...dirty... dry-rotted interior..and you could smell it even over the Brimstone. The voice of the Devil was heard: ""Dale, YOU HAVE SINNED!!! You are condemned to spend the rest of eternity in …