Queen Jokes

Here in Charlotte, NC, the forecast showed 6-8 inches of snow last night... The Queen City ended up getting only 2 inches at most. But that's okay - it's hardly the first time a lady was promised 7 inches that night and ended up disappointed.

Three guys died and when St. Peter met them at the pearly gates, he said, ""I know that you guys are forgiven because you're here. Before I let you into Heaven, I have to ask you something. You have to have a car in Heaven because Heaven is so big. What kind of car you get will depend on your answer."" The first guy walked up and St. Peter asked him, ""How long were you married?"" He answered, ""24 years."" ""Did you ever cheat on your wife?"", St. Peter asked. The guy said, ""Yeah, 7 times ... …

An American, An Englishman, and a German are walking down a country road... ...When they see storm clouds on the horizon. Not wanting to spend the night out in the cold rain, they run for the nearest shelter they can make out: A farmhouse. They ask the farmer if they can stay the night, and he replies, "Well, I DID have three beds, but one of them got infected with bedbugs. So, one of ya's gonna have to sleep with the pigs!" The American, gung-ho can-do man he is, says, "Alright, pilgrim, guess…