Ontario Jokes

Donald Trump, Vladimir Putin and Kathleen Wynn, all die and go to hell.(Ontario Joke) While there, they spy a red phone and ask what the phone is for. The devil tells them it is for calling back to Earth. Putin calls Russia and talks for 5 minutes. When he was finished the devil informs him that the cost is a million dollars, so Putin writes him a cheque.. Next Donald Trump calls the U.S. and talks for 30 minutes. When he's finished the devil informs him that the cost is 6 million dollars, so Tr…

The Greatest French Hockey Player A hockey-loving guy from Ontario moves to Quebec. He turns on the radio to listen to the Toronto Maple Leafs vs Montreal Canadiens hockey game. He realizes that the game is being broadcast in French, but he decides to listen anyways. Maybe He'll be able to make out what's happening and at least get the score. He's listening for the score and keeps hearing the name ""La Rondelle"". ""Man, this La Rondelle guy is everywhere!"" The Man thinks to himself. The next d…

Hunting Season A [Sardar](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sardarji_joke) went hunting one day in Ontario, Canada and bagged three ducks. He put them in the bed of his pickup truck and was about to drive home when he was confronted by a game warden who didn't like Sardars. The game warden ordered the Sardar to show his hunting license, and the Sardar pulled out a valid Ontario hunting license. The game warden looked at the license, then reached over and picked up one of the ducks, sniffed its butt, …

[Long]Three Toronto surgeons were playing golf together and discussing surgeries they had performed..   One of them said, "I'm the best surgeon in Ontario. In my favorite case, a concert pianist lost seven fingers in an accident;  I reattached them, and 8 months later he performed a private concert for the Queen of England.   The second surgeon said.. "That's nothing. A young man lost an arm and both legs in an accident;  I reattached them, and 2 years later he won a gold Medal in track a…

Why did Saskatchewan get all the nuclear waste and Ontario is full of lawyers? Saskatchewan got to pick first.

Why wasn't Jesus born in lindsay Ontario. Couldn't find three wise men. Or a virgin...