Ollie Jokes

Bob the Sailor, and Ollie the Octopus Bob the sailor walks into a bar carrying a large octopus. He announces to the bar that this octopus can not only talk, but he has a very unique talent which he will share with the crowd for $50 a turn. Bartender says ""There's no way that octopus can talk."" ""Sure he can. Ollie, tell the nice folks you can talk."" says Bob. ""He's right,"" says Ollie the Octopus, ""I can talk. I can also play any musical instrument."" ""True story!"" Says Bob the sailor "".…

Ollie and the pope Everyday ollie would brag about how he knew everyone in the world to his boss. Until one day his boss got fed up and said ""all right ollie you don't know tom cruise we're going to fly to holly wood knock on his door and see if he knows you!"". So they flew out to Hollywood found tom cruises house and knocked on his door. When Cruise answered the door he gave ollie a hug and exclaimed ""Hey ollie it's been a while since I've seen you"". Ollie's boss was dumb founded ""holy cra…

Two Swedes live across the street from one another in a small town in Manitoba... Their names are Ollie and Sven. One morning, Sven is eating his Shreddies for breakfast and looks out the front window into Ollie's yard. Ollie has a sign out front that says ""Boat for sale."" Sven goes over to Ollie's house and says, ""Eh, Ollie, what's this sign here? You don't even own a boat! All you have is this 'ere tractor an' that pickup truck over 'der."" ""Aw yah,"" says Ollie, ""and they're boat fer sal…