it says here you got fired from Olive Garden because you kept saying "pasta la vista, baby" to people. why would you put that on a resume#Olive Garden#Work#Kids0🔗 ShareWhatsApp
In 2003 an Olive Garden waitress told me to tell her when to stop grating cheese on my salad. As far as I know she's still doing it.#Olive Garden0🔗 ShareWhatsApp
NYPD officers accidentally shot two tourists in Times Square, but in the cop's defense, the tourists were about to eat at Olive Garden#Olive Garden#Police0🔗 ShareWhatsApp
Maybe, if I sit very still, this nice family at Olive Garden won't notice that I'm sitting at their table eating their bread sticks.#Olive Garden0🔗 ShareWhatsApp
I think I CAN wander the restaurant with my robe open and eat off of your plate, sir. This is Olive Garden. When you're here, you're family.#Sir This#Olive Garden#Food0🔗 ShareWhatsApp
This waitress at Olive Garden has been grating cheese onto my plate for 13 hours now.#Olive Garden#One-Liner0🔗 ShareWhatsApp
The only food in Hell is the part of the popcorn kernel that gets stuck between your teeth. Also they have an Olive Garden.#Olive Garden#Food#Religion0🔗 ShareWhatsApp
welcome to Olive Garden! when you're here, you're family. sit up straight. have you gained weight? why can't you be more like your sister#Olive Garden0🔗 ShareWhatsApp
Me: Dishonor on you! Dishonor on your family! Dishonor on your house! Olive Garden server: Please stop! I'll bring more cheese to grate!#Olive Garden0🔗 ShareWhatsApp
Olive Garden is appropriately named given that an olive garden is exactly where even Jesus was disappointed.#Olive Garden#One-Liner0🔗 ShareWhatsApp
"Cloudy With a Chance of Meatballs" could also describe every menu item at Olive Garden.#Olive Garden#One-Liner0🔗 ShareWhatsApp
So how do you stop eating the endless breadsticks at Olive Garden does the restaurant close or are you supposed to bring a spotter with you?#Olive Garden#Food0🔗 ShareWhatsApp
[Walking into the gym Jan 1st] Trainer: Hello! This is a great life change you're making. Me: [confused] This used to be an Olive Garden..#Olive Garden0🔗 ShareWhatsApp
Just overheard the gentleman in the next stall whisper "get out of me" and then start to cry. God I hate the Olive Garden.#Olive Garden0🔗 ShareWhatsApp
Do these jorts stuffed with free breadsticks from Olive Garden make my thighs look oily?#Olive Garden#One-Liner0🔗 ShareWhatsApp
My cat is my date and we got asked to leave the Olive Garden. Probably because she's black.#Olive Garden#Animals#One-Liner0🔗 ShareWhatsApp
Walked into Olive Garden, yelled "I WISH I'D NEVER BEEN BORN," then stormed out & slammed the door because when you're there, you're family.#Olive Garden0🔗 ShareWhatsApp
You can pour up to 12 bowls of salad in your sweats before they kick you out of the Olive Garden.#Olive Garden#One-Liner0🔗 ShareWhatsApp
Olive Garden waitress begins to freshly grate cheese onto my salad. I never say when. Room fills with parmesan. No one survives.#Olive Garden0🔗 ShareWhatsApp
"It doesn't say anywhere that you have to EAT them, you see," I explain to the Olive Garden waitress as my breadstick kingdom adds a library#Olive Garden0🔗 ShareWhatsApp
Waitress at Olive Garden tells me to say "when" and starts grating cheese on my salad I say nothing Room fills with Parmesan No one survives#Olive Garden0🔗 ShareWhatsApp
Olive Garden really does make you feel like family. Last time I went there my server told me a racist joke & asked why I wasn't married yet.#Olive Garden#Marriage0🔗 ShareWhatsApp
[Jumps into taxi] "FOLLOW..." [taxi driver turns around excitedly] "...ME ON TWITTER" [Jumps out & moonwalks into Olive garden]#Olive Garden#Twitter#Driving0🔗 ShareWhatsApp
They advertise unlimited soup, salad, and breadsticks. But I can personally attest that after 9 days Olive Garden asks you to leave.#Olive Garden0🔗 ShareWhatsApp