What would Jesus do? Today, take Mary out to Olive Garden.

it says here you got fired from Olive Garden because you kept saying "pasta la vista, baby" to people. why would you put that on a resume

NYPD officers accidentally shot two tourists in Times Square, but in the cop's defense, the tourists were about to eat at Olive Garden

Maybe, if I sit very still, this nice family at Olive Garden won't notice that I'm sitting at their table eating their bread sticks.