Oleary Jokes

An Irishman was working at a brewery... ...and fell in one of the beer vats and drowned. So the brewmaster visits the man's wife at home. When she answers the door, he tells her ""Mrs. O'Leary, I've got horrible news for you. Your husband fell into a beer vat today and drowned."" ""Oh my god, that's awful,"" she cried. Through tears, she asked ""well, did he suffer?"" ""I don't think so,"" said the brewmaster, ""he did get out three times to take a piss.""

Two Prized Cows Farmer O'Leary has two prize cows, Daisy and Buttercup. One day, he borrows the neighbors' bull and puts it into the field with the cows. The bull does not show much interest in the cows seems to be a swami! and soon Farmer O'Leary gets bored and goes off for his lunch. That afternoon, Father Fumble, the village priest, comes to the farmhouse for tea, so Farmer O'Leary calls his farmhand, Sean, and tells him to go out to the field and watch the bull. Sean is to let him know if …

Great joke from a marriage counselor to my fiance and Iast night. In Northern Ireland there's a new Catholic priest in town at the ripe age of 25. He gives his first sermon ever, and the whole town is blown away and approaches him with lots of praise after he's finished mass. Feeling inspired, so much so that he tells the town that he will come and visit all of them for breakfast, lunch or dinner at some point in the next year. With 400 or so families in the town, this is quite the undertaking. …

Police Officer O'Leary is cruising around in his patrol car one night. He's on the lookout for trouble. He sees two little old ladies in the front seat of a Chevrolet convertible, parked in a used car lot. The car lot is closed so O'Leary drives up alongside the Chevy and asks, ""Are you two ladies trying to steal this car?"" ""Certainly not,"" says one of the ladies, ""We purchased the car this afternoon."" ""Well,"" says the cop, ""Why don't you start it up and drive out of here?"" ""We don't …

Ryanair's Micheal O'Leary arrives in a hotel bar... Ryanair's Micheal O'Leary arrives in a hotel in Dublin, he goes to the bar and asks for a pint of draught Guinness. The barman nodded and said, "That will be one Euro please, Mr. O'Leary." Somewhat taken aback, O'Leary replied, "That's very cheap," and handed over his money. "Well, we try to stay ahead of the competition", said the barman. "And we are serving free pints every Wednesday evening from 6 until 8. We have the cheapest beer in Ir…