Italian Restaurant Jokes

How to make pasta: -Boil water. -Put what you think couldn't possibly be too much pasta in the pot. -Wrong. -Start an Italian restaurant.

To avoid taking down my Christmas lights, I'm making my house into an Italian restaurant.

This year I'll avoid all the trouble of taking down my Christmas lights... I'll just turn my house into an Italian restaurant.

The Italian Restaurant Car Thieves Deep in New York, there was an upscale Italian restaurant. It served some of the richest people in all of the state. However, it was recently discovered that for years the waiters were running a scheme of stealing ladies' fancy cars. When the customer wasn't looking, the waiter would snatch the car key from their purse and replace it with another item. When the customer left the restaurant, they would search their purse and find gnocchi.

A group of musicians walk into an Italian restaurant. The host says ""I am a sorry. We a cannot a serve you. You are a band.""

A man bursts in to a crowded Italian restaurant and yells ""You've got to help me, I've been shot!"" The crowd of diners gasps and frantically shout for a doctor. The head Chef bellows out ""There's-ah no need-ah for a doctor! I-ah have just the thing!"" He rushes into the kitchen and heads over to the man at the door. He opens a jar and sprinkles the wound with it's contents. To everyone's amazement, the hole begins to close right before their very eyes and then vanishes without leaving so much…

How much dessert does a dieting Jedi eat at an Italian restaurant? Only one cannoli.

Dinner with Jesus Say you have a dinner date with Jesus, in a fine Italian restaurant, what would he order ? Jesus takes the veal !

Why did Jim die from eating at an Italian restaurant? Because he asked for 'ebola spaghetti'

My friend told me this one Q: Why is it so hard to make up your mind on what to get in an Italian restaurant? A: There are just too many pastabilities!

What killed the guy ordering at an Italian restaurant? He'd had trouble deciding to go with the appetizers or entrees, but eventually he went antipasto way.

Italian restaurant. I went to my local Italian restaurant last night, but there was a large fat woman standing at the entrance. I couldn't get pasta.

The efficient restaurant A man decides to try a newly opened Italian Restaurant. The waiter brings him to a table, gives him a menu and leaves to get him his drink. The patron notices as the waiter walks away that he has a spoon in his apron. In fact, all the waiters and waitresses have a spoon in their apron pockets. After a few minutes, the waiter returns with his drink and is about to take his order when the man interrupts, "What's with the spoons you guys carry around in your aprons?" Th…

A customer in an Italian restaurant is so pleased with his meal that he insists on telling the chef personally. A customer in an Italian restaurant is so pleased with his meal that he insists on telling the chef personally. The owner proudly leads him into the kitchen. “Your pizza is superb,” the customer tells the chef. “I just spent a month in Italy, and yours is better than any I ever had over there.” “Naturally,” the chef says. “Over there, they use domestic cheese. Ours is imported!”

Dave loved tractors Dave loved tractors. And by loved, I mean REALLY loved. He owned loads of tractors, he was subscribed to all the tractor magazines, he had posters of tractors all over his walls and he spent all his free time at the local tractor museum. Like I said, he really loved tractors. Sadly, he was also very lonely. Then one day, whilst visiting the tractor museum, he spotted a beautiful woman staring at a beautiful Fordson Major on display, and he decided to pluck up the courage t…

I want to open an all-you-can-eat Italian restaurant… I’d call it “Endless Pastabilities.”

What did the Jedi order at the Italian restaurant? Only one cannoli.

Did you hear about the woman who died in an Italian restaurant? She pasta way.

The efficient restaurant A man decides to try a newly opened Italian Restaurant. The waiter brings him to a table

Did you hear about the girl who died in the Italian restaurant? She pasta way.

“My wife and I went for a meal the other night and I surprised everyone there by ordering in French. It was an Italian restaurant!”