House Well Jokes

Picture a scavenger hunt where the only items on the list are "your house keys" and "your house." Well, son, that's what drinking is like.

A blond is at home And realizes her house is on fire. She runs outside and calls the fire department on her cell phone. When they answer she cries to them in a hysterical voice that her house is on fire. The lady on the other end says ""Mam, can you please stay calm and tell us how to get to your house?"" ""Well duh!! Use your big red truck!!!""

Racist joke time! Last night my daughter walked into the living room and said ""Dad, cancel my allowance, stop paying my college tuition, rent my room out, throw all my clothes out of the window, take my TV, stereo, iPhone, iPad, and jewelry and give it to charity. Sell my car and take my front door key and throw me out of the house."" Well, she didn't actually put it like that. She said, ""Dad, this is my new boyfriend, Mohammed.""

A Jewish guy goes to his Rabbi and says: ""RABBI RABBI! you're not going to believe what happened to me! My son turned Christian and left the house!"" The Rabbi says: ""Well, you're not going to believe what happened to me! MY son turned Christian and Left the house."" ""Well, what are we going to do?!"" Asked the man. ""Let's pray to God and ask him for advice"" the Rabbi answers. They both look up and say: ""God, God, you're not going to believe what happened to us! Both our sons turned Christ…

A guy dials his home phone from work. A strange woman answers. The guy says, ""Who is this?"" ""This is the maid."", answered the woman. ""We don't have a maid!"" ""I was just hired this morning by the lady of the house."" ""Well, this is her husband. Is she there?"" ""Ummm .... she's upstairs in the bedroom with someone who I just figured was her husband."" The guy is fuming. He says to the maid, ""Listen, would you like to make $50,000?"" ""What do I have to do?"" ""I want you to get my gun fr…