First Professor Jokes

The Three Professors Three professors are arguing over who is the best at teaching. The first professor boasts, ""I teach so well, my students never ask any questions. This proves they understand me immediately!"" The second professor responds, ""Nonsense! I teach so well, my students never ask questions OR take notes. It's clear they remember the lesson instantly!"" The third professor grins and says, ""You're both amateurs. I teach so well, my students don't even have to show up to class!""

Three stat professors were out hunting... ...when they came upon a deer by a river. The first professor fired his rifle, and the shot went three feet to the left. The second professor fired, and the shot went 3 feet to the right. The third stood and exclaimed "Alright! We got him!"

Calculus Joke Two professors are at a restaurant, arguing about the state of education today. "Nobody learns calculus anymore," lamented the first. "That's not true," replied the second, "it's part of the freshman curriculum." "Okay, I'll tell you what," offered the first professor, "we'll ask the waitress a simple calculus question; if she gets it right, lunch is on me." The second professor agreed, but said, "But give me a minute, I have to use the bathroom, first." So the second profess…

TWO MEN AND ONE GAME Professor Q wanted to insult the redhead homeless who has been sleeping outside his apartment for over a week. So he asked homeless to play a game. The rule is, they both ask each other questions, if the professor can't answer then he will give the homeless $500, if the homeless can't answer then the professor gets $5. First professor Q asked the homeless, how far is the moon? The homeless gave him $5. Then the homeless asked one back, what animal walk with three legs in…

Two Math Professors Are Sitting In A Pub. "Isn't It Disgusting", The First One Complains, "how Little The General Public Knows About Mathematics? "Well", his colleague replies, "you're perhaps a bit too pessimistic." "I don't think so", the first one replies. "And anyhow, I have to go to the bathroom." He goes off, and the other professor decides to use this opportunity to play a prank on his colleague. He makes a sign to the pretty, blonde waitress to come over. "When my friend comes back,…

Two mathematics professors are sitting in a restaurant. The first one says: "The average person is, mathematically, an idiot. People don't know algebra, can't figure out percents, can't read a simple graph, and don't even get me started on calculus..." The second professor disagrees, "Surely you're exaggerating. Most people know all the math they need to know, or more." Some time later, the first professor goes to the men's room. The other mathematician beckons to the waitress and says, "Next…