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Doctor Who Jokes

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Shooting the Dog A woman was pregnant with triplets. One day she goes into this bank as it was being held up, and gets shot 3 times in her stomach, but luckily she lives. She goes to the doctor who tells her, her children will be all right, one day the bullets will come out. So 13 years later, one triplet, a girl, runs out of the bathroom and says, ""MOM, MOM, I WAS GOING TO THE BATHROOM AND A BULLET CAME OUT!"" So the mother tells her the story. The next day, the second daughter comes out and s

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Gherkin Flu This guy spends a wild week on holiday hitting brothels and the like and after a few days back home realises he over did it as his big end is green. He goes to see a doctor who makes a fatal STI diagnosis and says the best chance of long term survival is complicated and expensive amputation of his genitalia - balls and all. Naturally, he goes for several second opinions and all seem to indicate his days as a monk are fast approaching. On a tip-off from a friend, he goes to an Asian h

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How to get rid of a tapeworm A man had been feeling sick for several days. Finally he decided to try a new doctor who had just moved into town. After hearing the man's symptoms and listening to his belly with a stethoscope the doctor told him that he had a tapeworm. ''Oh, is that bad? How can I get rid of it?'' asked the man. ''Come in tomorrow and bring a hard boiled egg and a lemon cookie,'' said the doctor. When he saw a puzzled look cross the man's face, the doctor said, ''Trust me. I'm the

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Man needs a new left eye. He goes to the doctor who tells him that with the miracle of modern science, as soon as there's a donor eye available similar to his current eye colour, he'll be able to get a transplant to replace his current glass eye. A few months go by and no news from the doctor, but as luck would have it, the man is driving down the road late at night when he sees a bike is smashed up by the side of the road. Pulling over quickly he sees that the biker is definitely deceased, but

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So there's this pregnant woman and she goes into the doctors office whilst her husband is at work for her first scan after conception. The doctor after about 5 minutes of scratching his head says to the woman, "" Well by my beard you're pregnant with triplets"". The woman retorts and immediately gets out her phone to call her husband, the husband being as shocked as she was, responds with "" go to the bank and take out the biggest home loan you can, we are going to need a big house for this fami

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the 500 page book written by a madman Place : Mental Hospital Doctor- what is this? Patient- this is the book i wrote. Total 500 pages Doctor- you wrote 500 pages.!!! What did you write?? Patient: 1st page i wrote 1 king ride on horse & going towards jungle. and on the last page i write the king reached the jungle Doctor- you idiot! the rest of 498 pages what did you write? . . Patient-tigdik tigdik tigdik tigdik.... tigdik tigdik tigdik tigdik. Tigdik tigdik tigdik tigdik tigdik.... tigdik

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My African-American pastor was not amused Man is in a hospital room with his wife who is giving birth. After all the pain and pushing, she gives birth to a healthy baby boy. A half-black baby boy. The white father is outraged, and runs out of the room, knocking things down and shouting on his away down the hall. The doctor who delivered the baby rushes to him and asks him what is wrong. Man: That baby is half-black. I am white. Don't you see a problem here!? Doctor: Sir, I still don't see the pr

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