Clark Jokes

Lois: "I saw Batman yesterday. He's put on a lot of weight" Clark: *lowers glasses* "More like Fat- Lois: "Oh my god it's Superman"

Lois : Clark, are those binoculars? Clark Kent : Yes, I can't find my glasses. Lois : Put them down for a second. Clark : Lois : Clark : No

*Clark Kent takes his glasses off* Jimmy: "OMG, it's Superman!" *Clark puts his glasses back on* "OMG, Clark! You just missed Superman!"

Clark Kent: How's your lunch? Bruce Wayne: This soup is great. CK: don't BW: You could even say CK: please don't BW: It's Souper, man

After a failed college project to fight hunger, Clark decided to focus on fighting crime and thereby dropping a p from Supperman.

LOIS LANE: *pulls back from kissing* clark your glasses are hurting my nose can you take them off CLARK KENT: no

Clark Kent "I have a confession" Lois Lane "what is it?" *Clark removes his glasses* Lois "Is it a bird?" Clark "WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU"

I bet nobody noticed Superman flying around at first, so Clark just started pointing out every bird and plane until it caught on

My fiance said the funniest thing out of context today. Lewis and Clark were so starved on their exploration, Sacajawea had a hard time understanding why they didn't eat Seaman.

TIL the first commodity traded across the USA was jaweia. Lewis and Clark brought a sack of it with them on their expedition to the Pacific coast.

God, Clark Gable's performance in ""Gone With the Wind"" sucked... ...It's like he didn't even give a damn.

Superman is a mean drunk Superman was drunk tricked a guy into spilling his drink. ""You sure are a mean drunk,"" he thought to himself the next morning and promised himself he wouldn't do it again. The next time he got drunk, he made up a joke where he tricked people into jumping off a building. Even though he didn't actually do it, people realized he could, and thought he was a mean drunk. ""I'm Superman and I can trick people into jumping off buildings, not like that runt Clark. Superman Can,…

Lewis and Clark were walking through Montana when they met an Indian scout who offered to help them hunt buffalo. The scout took them out in the morning and put his ear to the ground. After a while, he said ""Buffalo come."" Lewis asked the scout, ""How do you know?"" The scout said, ""Face sticky.""

So the Chicago Cubs have a new mascot... ... and you can find Clark's bio [here](http://chicago.cubs.mlb.com/chc/fan_forum/clark.jsp). While it talks about Clakr's ""great-grandbear Joa"" it doesn't mention any of his other family members, nor the real reason why he is the new mascot. At a regular checkup, a zoo member noticed some bruises on Clark's body & DCFS (Department of Children and Family Services) was called in to investigate. --- After the DCFS social worker arrived they asked if C…

Lewis and Clark Lewis and Clark were walking through Montana when they met an Indian scout who offered to help them hunt buffalo. The scout took them out in the morning and put his ear to the ground. After a while, he said "Buffalo come." Lewis asked the scout, "How do you know?" The scout said, "Face sticky."

Clark Kent was lying in his death bed with his wife Lois Lane beside him. After some time, Lois said “Darling, I have to confess something. Years ago, I had an affair with Superman. It was only one night, but I’ve regretted it ever since. I hope you can forgive me.” “You don’t need to worry about that because,” Clark said as he took off his glasses, “I am Superman! Even if you didn’t know it was me, in my eyes you were always faithful.” “Oh thank God!” said Lois. “ I can’t tell you what a wei…

Lewis and Clark Lewis and Clark were walking through Montana when they met an Indian scout who offered to help them hunt buffalo.

What did Lewis and Clark only have one sack of on their expedition? Jawea