Chuck Norris Jokes

How much wood can Chuck Norris if Chuck Norris could chuck wood? Chuck Norris would just stare at the wood, and it would chuck itself out of fear.

Chuck Norris once roundhouse kicked Bruce Campbell in the chin. He broke every bone in that leg.

Chuck Norris is in a class of his own. That doesn't implement Comparable. #hacking

Why is Chuck Norris still alive? ## Because he's afraid of meeting Bruce Lee on the other side! Credit: Saw the comment in this [tribute video](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v8wL3AA4BP0) [1:55]

Chuck Norris once urinated in the gas tank of a semi-truck as a joke... That semi-truck is now known as Optimus Prime.

Chuck Norris... ...played a used game once... on the Xbox One.

Chuck Norris... Walks up the elevator.

Chuck Norris was the fourth wiseman... ...who gave Jesus the gift of the beard. Which he rocked until the day he died AND three days after. The other wise men where so jealous of such an obviously superior gift they wrote him out of the bible, soon there after they all died due to roundhouse kick related injuries.

Chuck Norris Jokes http://chuck-norris-jokes.com/

Chuck Norris is a wimp... If he were really as badass as they say he is, he would walk in here right now and start slamming my face into the keybdilfvbasjklkjcbnacnbzcjkbs; fsidfbaa3048fhsdk;ufb fba'aspfj4hn4

and God said,"" Let there be light !"" Chuck Norris says"" Say please""

Chuck Norris once broke wind so hard... it couldn't be fixed.

Chuck Norris makes onions cry when he cuts them up.

Chuck Norris is currently suing myspace for taking the name of what he calls everything around you.

A movie scene depicting Chuck Norris losing a fight with Bruce Lee was the product of history's most expensive visual effect. When adjusted for inflation, the effect cost more than the Gross National Product of Paraguay.

a long time ago chuck norris kicked the world so hard that its still spinning today.

Chuck Norris doesn't daydream. He's too busy giving other people nightmares.

Life is not, in fact, like a box of chocolates. It is more like a box of Chuck Norris, roundhouse kicking you in the face. And if you receive a box of Chuck Norris, you ALWAYS know what you are going to get.

If tapped, a Chuck Norris roundhouse kick could power the entire country of Australia for 44 minutes.

The Chuck Norris military unit was not used in the game Civilization 4, because a single Chuck Norris could defeat the entire combined nations of the world in one turn.

The United States could save billions in defense funding if they trade the Military for Chuck Norris.

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles is based on a true story: Chuck Norris once swallowed a turtle whole, and when he crapped it out, the turtle was six feet tall and had learned karate.

The last thing you hear before Chuck Norris gives you a roundhouse kick? No one knows because dead men tell no tales.

Archeologists unearthed an old english dictionary dating back to the year 1236. It defined ""victim"" as ""one who has encountered Chuck Norris""

Chuck Norris eats steak for every single meal. Most times he forgets to kill the cow.