Chuck Norris Jokes

Chuck norris is so fast that he can run around the world once and kick himself in the back of the head

If Chuck Norris catches you writing jokes about him, he'll smash your face into the keyjhesreqdzsf

When Arnold says the line ""I'll be back"" in the first Terminator movie it is implied that is he going to ask Chuck Norris for help.

Chuck Norris was once in a knife fight, and the knife lost.

When the Boogeyman goes to sleep at night he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.

According to Einstein's theory of relativity, Chuck Norris can actually roundhouse kick you yesterday.

Chuck Norris cannot love, he can only not kill.

Chuck Norris does, in fact, live in a round house.

In middle school chuck Norris was assigned an essay about what courage was. He got an A+ by turning in a blank sheet of paper with his name on it.

A Chuck Norris-delivered Roundhouse Kick is the preferred method of execution in 16 states.

Chuck Norris doesn't go on the Internet, he has every Iinternet site stored in his memory. He refreshes webpages by blinking.

Dinosaurs went extinct because they heard Chuck Norris was coming.

Chuck Norris doesn't dial the wrong number. You pick up the wrong phone.

What is your favorite Chuck Norris joke? My Favorite, When Alexander Graham Bell invented the telephone he had three missed calls from Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris jokes When Chuck Norris' code throws exceptions, it's across the room. Chuck Norris' keyboard doesn't have a Ctrl key, because nothing controls Chuck Norris. Chuck Norris can delete the recycling bin. Chuck Norris threw a grenade and killed 50 people. And then the grenade exploded. When Chuck Norris goes into a room, he doesn't turn the lights on, he turns the dark off. Feel free to add more. Shamelessly stolen from the internet.

So there's this school play... Sylvester Stallone, Chuck Norris, and Arnold Schwarzenegger have to put on a play featuring their favorite musical composers. They each toil over who they will play, until the next day they meet. Stallone goes first. "I'll be Mozart" Next up is Chuck Norris. "I'll be Beethoven". Happy that no one picked his composer, Arnold announces "I'll be Bach".

Some Chuck Norris Jokes - Chuck Norris doesn't pet any animals. Animals pet themselves when he approaches them. - Chuck Norris threw a hand grenade and killed 50 people. Then the grenade exploded. - When Chuck Norris enters the room, even the chairs are standing up. - Chuck Norris doesn't need to flush the toilet. He simply goes "Boo!" and anything in the bowl promptly rushes away. - Chuck Norris ordered a Big Mac at a Burger King. He got it without a single remark. - Chuck Norris doesn't …

Do you know why there are so many Chuck Norris Jokes and no Bruce Lee Jokes? Cos Bruce Lee is no joke.

When Chuck Norris is in Rome, the Romans do as Chuck Norris does.

Chuck Norris once told a joke about Jada Smith. Will Smith then slapped HER

Chuck Norris once attended a feminist rally. He came back with his shirt ironed and holding a sandwich.

Another chuck Norris joke When Chuck Norris tells a joke about Will Smith's wife Will Smith stands up and slaps his wife

Chuck Norris does not cheat death. He wins fair and square.

Chuck Norris can lift the chair he is sitting on

Telling a Chuck Norris joke to Chuck Norris is dangerous... If he doesn't like the joke you'll be dead before you told it.