Chris Jokes

A guy goes over to his friends house, rings the bell. The wife answers the door. ""Hi, is Tony home?"" ""No, he went to the store."" ""Well, you mind if I wait?"" ""No come in."" They sit down and the friend says, ""You know Sara, you have the greatest breasts I have ever seen. I'd give you a hundred bucks if I could just see one."" Sara thinks about this for a second and figures what the hell - a hundred bucks. She opens her robe and shows one. He promptly thanks her and throws a 100 bucks on t…

Knock Knock Who's there ? Chris ! Chris who ? Chrisco'll do you proud everytime !

A man named Chris This guy called Chris goes over to his friend's house, rings the bell, and the wife answers. "Hi, is tony home?" he asks. "No, he went to the store." "Well, you mind if I wait?" "No, come in" They sit down and Chris says, "You know Tina, you have the greatest breasts I have ever seen, I'd give you a hundred bucks if I could just see one." Tina thinks about this about this for a second and figures what the hell- a hundred bucks. She opens her robe and shows one. He promptly tha…

The Naughty Friend One day an at home wife is alone and the doorbell rings. She opens it to a guy, "Hi, is Tony home?" The wife replies, "No, he went to the store, but you can wait here if you want." So they sit down and after a while of silence the friend says "You know Sara, you have the greatest breasts I have ever seen. I‘d give you a hundred buck just to see one." Sara thinks about it for a second and figures, what the hell - a hundred bucks! She opens her robe and shows one to him for a f…

The Irish Millionaire Mick, from Dublin , appeared on 'Who Wants To Be A Millionaire' and towards the end of the program had already won 500,000 euros. "You've done very well so far," said Chris Tarrant, the show's presenter, "but for a million euros you've only got one life-line left, phone a friend. Everything is riding on this question. Will you go for it?" "Sure," said Mick. "I'll have a go!" "Which of the following birds does NOT build its own nest? a) Sparrow b) Thrush, c) Magpi…

An Irish Man Wins Big On 'Who Wants To Be A Millionaire' Thanks To A Good Friend Mick, from Dublin , appeared on Who Wants To Be A Millionaire and towards the end of the program, he had already won 500,000 euros. "You've done very well so far," said Chris Tarrant, the show's presenter, "but for a million euros you've only got one life-line left, phone a friend. Everything is riding on this question. Will you go for it?" "Sure," said Mick. "I'll have a go!" "Which of the following birds does …

200 Bucks A guy goes over to his buddy's house, rings the bell, but his buddy's wife answers. "Hi is Tony home?" "No, he went to the store." "Well, you mind if I wait?" "No, come in." They sit down and the friend says "You know, Nora, you have the greatest breasts I have ever seen. I'd give you a hundred bucks if I could just see one." Nora thinks about this for a second and figures what the hell, It's worth one hundred bucks. She opens her robe and shows one. He promptly thanks her and throws …

Men vs Women **1. NAMES** If Laurie, Linda, Elizabeth and Barbara go out for lunch, they will call each other Laurie, Linda, Elizabeth and Barbara. If Mark, Chris, Eric and Tom go out, they will affectionately refer to each other as Fat Boy, Godzilla, Peanut-Head and Scrappy. **2. EATING OUT** When the bill arrives, Mark, Chris, Eric and Tom will each throw in $20, even though it's only for $32.50. None of them will have anything smaller and none will actually admit they want change back. …

The Irish Millionaire Mick, from Dublin , appeared on 'Who Wants To Be A Millionaire' and towards the end of the program had already won 500,000 euros. "You've done very well so far," said Chris Tarrant, the show's presenter, "but for a million euros you've only got one life-line left, phone a friend. Everything is riding on this question. Will you go for it?" "Sure," said Mick. "I'll have a go!" "Which of the following birds does NOT build its own nest? a) Sparrow b) Thrush, c) Magpie, …

Omar Epps moved next to Chris Hemsworth. Initially they didn't talk much, but after a little time they started having family get-togethers. They became good friends for a while, even going so far as to have little decoration challenges every holiday. Omar always pulled out all the stops come Christmas, and he seemed to enjoy it so much that, often, Chris would concede and just admire his neighbor's over-the-top yuletide spirit. But one year, Chris felt like upping the ante and properly compet…

A Little Bobby Joke A group of newly-hatched kindergarteners were trying to become accustomed to the first grade. The biggest hurdle they faced was the teacher insisted on no baby talk. “You need to use big people words,” she’d always remind them. She asked Chris what he had done over the weekend. “I went to visit my Nana.” “No, you went to visit your Grandmother. Use big people words!” She then asked Mitchell what he had done. “I took a ride on a…

Why did Will Smith slap Chris instead of punching him? Everybody knows paper beats rock

A young man called Chris from London wanted to buy a Christmas present for his new girlfriend. They hadn't been seeing each other for very long and she lived in Scotland. Chris consulted with his sister and decided

A schoolreunion A man named Chris sits down at a table at his high-school reunion. It's been a while since the last reunion

Do you know how Rihanna can tell when Chris has been cheating on her? He has someone else's lipstick on his knuckles.

"Dad, look! I'm a 3D printer!" "Chris, close the god damn door if you're taking a shit"

If a rich man dies from a drug overdose, the headline should read "Pills bury dough boy" Credit to my friend Chris

What is the best stand-up routine of our time? I nominate Chris Rock's Never Scared.

What did Chris Brown's dad say to him after the Rihanna incident?,"""Son it's better to knock her out than to knock her up!""

Did you hear about Chris Brown's latest Hit? Left Hook.

What's Chris Brown's favourite game? Mortal Kombat Ex

What's Chris Brown's favourite time of day? 12:34!

What's Chris Brown's favourite drink? Punch

When Chris brought over his musl*m girlfriend to meet the family, what did they say? "Nice scarf! Must be cold where you came from! Do you guys want coffee?"

What did Chris Brown's dad say to him after the Rihanna incident? "Son, it's better to knock her out than to knock her up!"