Castro Jokes

Vladimir Putin, Fidel Castro and the Oort Cloud are riding on a train.. Fidel Castro, Vladimir Putin, and the Oort Cloud are riding on a train. Fidel Castro pulls an expensive Cuban cigar out of his pocket, lights it, and then throws it out the window after only a few puffs. Vladimir Putin and the Oort Cloud are both surprised by this and ask ""what are you doing, Fidel? That's an expensive cigar!"" To which Castro responds, ""in your country/post-heliopausal region perhaps, but in my country th…

Fidel Castro was giving a speech to his people Fidel Castro was giving a speech to the Cuban people in a large outdoor venue. Halfway through the speech he hears a vendor in the crowd, ""popcorn, peanuts, soda..."" He ignores it and carries on with the speech. He hears the same thing, ""popcorn, peanuts, soda..."" Fidel gets frustrated and says, ""the next person I hear say that I'm gonna kick his ass so hard he's gonna wind up in Florida."" Then the whole crowd goes, ""popcorn, peanuts, soda.""…

Fidel Castro Dies and Goes to Heaven Castro finds himself at the pearly gates. St. Peter is there, surprised to see him. He says, ""Fidel, you've done so many awful things in your life, how did you get here?"" Castro says, ""It was the Pope. He blessed me and told me I must have been chosen by God, so I was certainly going to heaven."" ""Chosen by God? No, that can't be right. Why would he say that?"" So Castro tells him the story: ""When Pope John Paul visited Havana in 1998, I personally welco…

Why didn't rail Castro want to be President of Cuba? He didn't want to play second fidel

Castro joke I got from Cuban family members Fidel Castro dies and because he thinks he is so great he goes to heaven. Once past the gates though, Saint Peter stops him and throws him out being the the watchful eye he is. In hell, the devil meets castro and gives him a warm welcome and tells his demons to get Castro's bags and bring them to his room. Castro however forgot them in heaven and the demons promptly go to retrieve the bags. They get to heaven but the gates have already shut and the dem…

So the Pope went to visit Fidel Castro... ....and Fidel said to His Holiness, ""please father, I seek absolution, for I am approaching the end of my life. Will I be received at the gates of Heaven?"" The Supreme Pontiff asked the infamous dictator, ""Well, that depends my son, what have you done for the good of your fellow man?"" Castro answered, ""I led a revolution for the betterment of the weakest and poorest of my people, I liberated a beleaguered population from that imperialist swine, Bati…

I went to a nice Cuban restaurant last night, I say restaurant but it was more of a Castro pub.

Knock Knock Who's there ! Castro ! Castro who ? Castro bread upon the waters !

Fidel Castro, Vladimir Putin, and the Oort Cloud are riding on a train. Fidel Castro pulls an expensive Cuban cigar out of his pocket, lights it, and then throws it out the window after only a few puffs. Vladimir Putin and the Oort Cloud are both surprised by this and ask "what are you doing, Fidel? That's an expensive cigar!" To which Castro responds, "in your country/post-heliopausal region perhaps, but in my country these are as cheap as dirt." Then Vladimir Putin pulls a bottle of expensi…

Fidel Castro, Vladimir Putin, and the Oort Cloud are riding on a train Fidel Castro, Vladimir Putin, and the Oort Cloud are riding on a train. Fidel Castro pulls an expensive cigar out of his pocket, lights it, and then throws it out the window after only a few puffs. Vladimir Putin and the Oort Cloud are both surprised by this and ask, "What are you doing, Fidel? That's an expensive cigar!" To which Castro responds, "In your country or post-heliopausal region perhaps, but in my country these a…

What would you call an ex-muslim turned communist? Infidel Castro

Fidel Castro Dies and Goes to Heaven Castro finds himself at the pearly gates. St. Peter is there

Castro joke I got from Cuban family members Fidel Castro dies and because he thinks he is so great he goes to heaven. Once past the gates though

What did terrorists used to call Fidel Castro? Infidel Castro

What do you call a Cuban Atheist? Infidel Castro.

How does a gay religious terrorist spend his vacation in Cuba? Infidel Castro