Hey people - learn to spell!!! I mean my co-workers. Twitter, you guys actually do pretty well, considering half of you are probably drunk.

Forget waterboarding. You want confessions? Lock the guy in a room with a laptop, a Twitter account and a bottle of whiskey.

Twitter is like a dorm, someone is always up at every hour, someone is crying and someone is drunk.

Jokes about being drunk on Twitter are redundant. Maintaining a Twitter account automatically implies that you're drinking on some level.