Hey people - learn to spell!!! I mean my co-workers. Twitter, you guys actually do pretty well, considering half of you are probably drunk.

Forget waterboarding. You want confessions? Lock the guy in a room with a laptop, a Twitter account and a bottle of whiskey.

i told this girl at the bar that im kinda popular on twitter and she sighed for 17 minutes straight the bartender timed it

Twitter is like a dorm, someone is always up at every hour, someone is crying and someone is drunk.