*knocks on door* You're too fat. "Wha--" You're way too dumb. "Wait--who.." Hi, I'm Roy. I sell insecurity systems. You're too poor for one.

I just took enough Vicodin to kill a medium-sized Chipmunk. RIP Roy. Roy's the hypothetical Chipmunk. I named him. Has anyone seen my legs??

Financial planning Roy was a single guy, living at home with his father and working in the family business. When he found out he was going to inherit a fortune when his sickly father died, he decided he needed a wife with which to share his fortune. One evening at an investment meeting he spotted the most beautiful woman he had ever seen. Her natural beauty took his breath away. ""I may look like just an ordinary man,"" he said to her, but in just a few years, my father will die, and I'll inheri…

The most contrived joke that I know A bloke called Roy was walking through the jungle when a tiger pounced on him and stole his brand new shoes. Distraught, Roy contacts the only person he can think of that can sort out this issue - famous big band conductor Glen Miller. Glen is hot on the case and finally bags a tiger that fits the description, but he's still unsure. So he approaches Roy, who is busy talking to a bunch of people. He tries to get Roy's attention but he can't so he is forced to p…