I automatically write off anything Donald Trump says because someone with that much money has no excuse for that hair.

Kelly Ayotte says "Donald Trump is absolutely a role model for kids." She's right, kids don't pay taxes either.

Y'all know Bill, right? Bill was bragging to his boss a day ago ""You know, I know a lot of pals. A *lot*. Pick any guy, famous or not, and I probably know him."" To confront this boring boasting, his boss calls his bluff. ""Ok Bill, how about Tom Hanks?"" ""No worry boss,"" says Bill, ""Tom is an old pal of my own, I will show you"" So Bill and his boss fly out to Hollywood and knock on Tom Hanks's door, and Tom Hanks shouts, ""Bill! What's going on? You must sit down with us, drink a pint!"" A…

Classic jokes modified to Donald Trump and Putin One day while walking through the countryside the President of Russia discovered an old lamp. He started to polish it and out came a genie who told him that for freeing him from the lamp he would grant him one wish. Putin thought for a minute before declaring, ""I am a poor simple man with simple needs, therefore I wish that Putin pee vodka!"" The Genie exclaimed that Putin's wish was granted and disappeared in a poof of smoke. Putin runs home and…