The drowning man. Brenda O'Malley is home making dinner, as usual, when Tim Finnegan arrives at her door. ""Brenda, may I come in?"" he asks. ""I've somethin' to tell ya."" ""Of course you can come in, you're always welcome, Tim. But where's my husband?"" ""That's what I'm here to be tellin' ye, Brenda. There was an accident down at the Guiness brewery..."" ""Oh, God no!"" cries Brenda. ""Please don't tell me..."" ""I must, Brenda. Your husband Shamus is dead and gone. I'm sorry."" Finally, she …

Brenda O'Malley is home making dinner, as usual, when Tim Finnegan arrives at her door. ""Brenda, may I come in?"" he asks. ""I've somethin' to tell ya."" ""Of course you can come in, you're always welcome, Tim. But where's my husband?"" ""That's what I'm here to be tellin' ya, Brenda. There was an accident down at the Guinness brewery..."" ""Oh, God no!"" cries Brenda. ""Please don't tell me...."" ""I must, Brenda. Your husband Shamus is dead and gone. I'm sorry."" Finally, she looked up at Tim…

Tim is out drinking one night... He wants to go home but is extremely drunk so he decides to walk. After two steps he falls down. He stands up, walks another two steps and falls down again. This continues all the way home where he climbs up the stairs in agony but doesn't utter a single groan since he doesn't want his wife to notice and gets into bed next to her, makes sure he didn't wake her up and sleeps. The next day, his wife tells him: "Tim, you moron! Didn't I tell you not to go out dri…

Padraic Flaherty came home drunk every evening toward ten... Now, the Missus was never too happy about it, either. So one night she hides in the cemetery and figures to scare the beejeezus out of him. As poor Pat wanders by, up from behind a tombstone she jumps in a red devil costume screaming, "Padraic Sean Flaherty, sure and ya' don't give up you're drinkin' and it's to Hell I'll take ye'". Pat, undaunted, staggered back and demanded, "Who the hell ARE you?". Too that the Missus replied, "…