""Knok Knock "" -""Knok Knock."" =""Who's there ?"" -""Grandad"" =""Shit, stop the funeral"" credit: Gary Delaney

@GaryDelaney: If you watch Benjamin Button backwards you won't be able to see anything as you'll be facing away from the television. -Gary Delaney

When they buried the man who invented Tetris... The whole cemetery disappeared. -Gary Delaney

As a child I was made to walk the plank. We couldn't afford a dog. Courtesy of Gary Delaney